How can you make it last longer?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
How can you make it last longer?
7
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 12:16pm
While in the act of making love, how can a male last longer than 30 seconds!? What makes it only last that short in the first place? I am afraid this is putting a damper on our relationship and I have to find ways to fix it so that I have some fun too and preferable for longer than 30 seconds!!! HELP!
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 6:38pm
It's actually quite normal for men to be faster to orgasm than women, so it will take practice to learn to delay ejaculation.

How long have you been with your partner and how long has he been sexually active? Usually, with familiarity, time and maturity, most men can adequately learn to last long enough to satisfy their partner. However, you must have realistic expectations, too. Some estimate that the majority of men ejaculate in 2 minutes on average.

This is a common problem but with some adjustments in your expectations and practices, it can be resolved.

Don't allow penetration until you are VERY aroused during foreplay, in other words, try to begin intercourse with your arousal levels on the same level with one another. And if he's not spending enough time arousing you manually and/or digitally, then he needs to. Bringing you to orgasm once or twice BEFORE penetration can also serve a dual purpose. It can serve to relieve the frustration for YOU when he can't last long enough and relieves the pressure he may feel to last longer than he can right now, which can actually exacerbate the problem. He may be concentrating so hard to hold back, that he loses control.

Don't make a big issue of it but don't allow him to penetrate until you are almost to orgasm. With time, he should gain more confidence and control but try to be patient.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 10:18am
Thank you for the post, we actually tried it and it is already helping. I think we just needed to make it more "our own moment" rather than "a moment". Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 11:58am

Hi jill:


There are a few reasons his sexual response is 30 seconds: 1-new to the sexual adventure; he has NOT learned to control the sexual response, 2-your vagina and body gets him SO aroused, and 3-he has learned thru masturbation to ejaculate quickly.


IMHO, you two will have to "retrain" his sexual response.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 12:15pm

I agree with katmandoo.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 1:04pm
I agree with the other posters that he should please you several times before penetration to reduce the pressure or frustration. Inserting one's most sensitive organ into warmth and wetness that is designed to hold and stimulate it can be daunting at first to keep from ejaculating. It takes time to get that thing under control. He needs to know when his pressure is building too fast. He should pull out to reduce the stimulation. While out, you can use your thumb and forefinger to squeeze the head. It retards ejaculation and if it's starting to squirt, it can't get out of him. While in or out, wrap your thumb and forefinger around his base and pull his testicles down. A guy can's release without his balls being pulled up.

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anonymous user
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 3:10pm
My bf says that sometimes he thinks about other things while we are having sex so that he can last longer, we will also change positions if he is about to cum before he wants to. It might work for your bf to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 10:32pm
He could take one out of the chamber first. He could masturbate say an hour before. That would probably make him last longer.