How do I help my "Old Fashioned" guy out

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
How do I help my "Old Fashioned" guy out
2
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 12:43pm
My boyfriend is very basic (self described) and old fashioned somewaht in our sex life. I JUST got him to start "going down" on a consistent basis. Anyway, I really want to keep our sex life fresh and interesting and got an idea from this board (the shower curtain and baby oil one) I tried it out and he didn't want to, said it was too messy and freaky. Then later on he warmed up to the idea, but wondered, how we would get all the oil off? (the pilot light in my water heater had gone out)

I love him so much, but I have a higher libido than him and am just more creative sexually I guess, what can I do to guide him along in this area successfully without hurting his feelings??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 1:32pm
He might be more conservative than you but it sounds like his little brain has been thinking about this baby oil and shower curtain thing. Sure, he's only asked how to get it off but you can be sure that he has thought about the whole 'putting the oil on' part of the scenario too! Maybe, deep down, he isn't as conservative as you think. It's entirely possible that his libido is just as strong as yours too - maybe he's more reserved when it comes to expressing it.

Time. That's what it's going to take. You can't turn him into a sexual animal overnight. But just keep encouraging him and you'll find that he will become more comfortable with you, himself and sex over time.

I think that he is interested in learning too. After-all, he has admitted that he is a very basic kinda guy. If he hadn't wanted to learn he would have said it a different way and hinted that he was happy the way that he is/was. I'd simply tell him what I wanted him to do. Don't start with the freaky stuff. Ease him into it.

If you want him to be more assertive, try telling him that you are all his on, say, Saturday night. Tell him that you want to make love to him but that the details are up to him. That might spur him into action and let/make him get used to initiating things and taking control of the situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Mon, 11-01-2004 - 1:56pm
Thanks! those are good suggestions..I think his interest in the baby oil/shower curtain thing is definately peaked. I guess I do need to be a little more patient and try to get him to take the lead a little more. He does like being "in charge!"