How do I keep a booty call, a booty call
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How do I keep a booty call, a booty call
| Thu, 03-31-2005 - 10:45pm |
I met a guy and he is just right, but the problem is he's married but has been seperated for over two years. He is what I call my booty call but I am starting to develop feelings for him. How do I remain cool about everything? He doesn't know that I have feelings for him and I will not disclose anything to him either until I get a cue from him? So the question is, how do I remain being the cool, distant one in this?

I don't think that you can fight your feelings AND stay in close contact with him. You're asking us how to fool yourself into thinking that you've not got feelings for this guy.
If he's been separated for two years it's very likely that he is well and truely on the way to getting over his marriage break-up and is becoming emotionally stable enough to at least consider, if not deal with, the idea of having another relationship. After-all, that's what you are telling us, isn't it? That you could see yourself having a relationship with this guy?
In the longrun I don't see what good it is to hide your feelings. Why do you feel that you can't tell him how you feel? Why do you have to wait for a clue from him? Why ca't you drop some hints yourself?
I don't see how NOT telling how you feel is doing any good.
Maybe he wants to work things out with his wife, maybe he isn't sure. Maybe if he knew how you really felt he might be more interested in making it work with you. It's quite likely that he is thinking more or less the same way that you are - "I'm not sure whether or not I want my wife back, but nothing is really happening with this other woman I'm with. She acts like it's just a booty call so I guess nothing will come of it and maybe I should look at getting back together with my wife?".
I think that you should probably tell him that you're more interested. If you DON'T tell him he may well choose his wife. If you DO, tell him you will have at least had more of a shot at keeping him.
I believe that process go either way.
Him not knowing what he wants may mean he doesn't want to work things out since he's with you...or...it could actually mean that he is redeveloping feelings for her again anyway and is thinking of working things out along with her as a result. Who really knows?
I just think it go either way though. I agree with West that you should really think about discussing your feelings and clarify understanding between you two.
IMHO, better to live an relationship and not a baggage one in which he'll still cling to the past or to feelings he may still have for someone else. Just my view on it, your call.
C H A R A C T E R
Seperated and going through divorce, I had met someone who was fun, exiting, sexual, and a welcome distraction from all the divorce turmoil. I went the direction of the new and exiting. It didn't work out for other reasons that I should have seen, but I found out that the truth was...I was affraid to be alone. Did not want to be without someone who loved me. When it didn't work out, I ran straight back to the ex for the same unrecognized "fear of aloneness". My ex saw this and did not let me back, yet forced me to be alone and learn to enjoy being alone. We are not together anymore, but I must thank her over and over for "force" teaching me what I needed to learn.
Just my story..take it for what you will and forget it if you choose.
But something else to look at.
Good Luck. I hope whatever you do yields you happiness.