How do I make him feel better?
Find a Conversation
How do I make him feel better?
| Fri, 03-30-2007 - 10:57am |
I have been with my boy friend for a few years now. We have a wonderful relationship,We have a pretty normal sex life we have sex a couple times a week. The only problem is he has not been lasting very long at all, this has just been a recent thing (about the past 3 months or so) It doesn't bother me and I tell him so. He always feels really bad after we have sex and I try and tell him that it does not bother me and that it is great, but I know he still feels really bad. I was wondering if any one had any suggestions about how I can make him feel better about this.

If he's giving you enough foreplay before intercourse so that you're having orgasms before intercourse, then he has nothing to feel bad about! He can feel bad for himself that he can't last longer, but if he's doing it right, he doesn't have to apologize to you for anything! If you're like 80+% of women, you don't have orgasms from intercourse anyway...so as long as you have them before, you're fine.
He CAN last longer if he practices the start and stop method, but that takes time, too.
Try talking to him out of the bedroom and see if there's something ELSE bothering him...many times new problems in the bedroom are a symptom of problems OUT of the bedroom!
The most important thing though, is if he's taking enough time to give you your orgasms before he starts intercourse, it doesn't really matter, execept to him. And there's nothing you can do to make him feel better except explain about the female body and how it works.
Hi Ashley,
It's great that you are being considerate of him, and willing to help him with what's going on. He's having some problems with PE (premature ejaculation), and the good news is that there are a couple of things that you can encourage him to do that should help the situation.
One of the things he can do to control his ejaculation a bit is to back off when he feels he is near and then restart (the stop-start method). There are also some desensitizing creams on the market that he can use.
Here are a couple of links that you may find helpful:
Topical Spray May Treat Premature Ejaculation
http://health.ivillage.com/familycare/familycarenews/0,,wbnews_b6kgfrnk,00.html
How Do I Deal with My Husband's Premature Ejaculation?
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/0,,pscw,00.html
Ejaculation Control Technique
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/0,,2tqn,00.html
How can I delay his climax?
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638356_629375,00.html
Let's us know about your progress.