How do I teach him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
How do I teach him?
10
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 9:44pm

I'm sure I posted about this before, once, so forgive me for repeating myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 10:10pm

Hi GL, it does sound like you're frustrated. Have you tried either putting your hand over his or having him place his over yours? Some people have found that to be helpful.

I know that each person is different. While a wide, flat tongue is perfect for one woman, the next make like it hard and pointy, and others will want a combination of the two. Some want up and down motion, others want to go around in circles. While the oral lesson can be difficult unless you're willing to really talk him through it, manual stimulation can be a little easier to demonstrate.

Do you stimulate yourself during intercourse? I know that we enjoy a position we call the "T-position". We're both laying on our backs and joined at the pelvic area (thus our bodies form a "T"). In this position, we can have great eye contact and complete access to my body (and most of his). It's a great position for manual stimulation, and one where you can help to guide his hand -- or he can get a feel for what you do to yourself and enjoy. Instead of relying on just moans, he can also see your face and how you are reacting to the different sensations.

Another thing that you might want to think about is introducing a vibe. Even if he's unsure about it, once he sees the pleasure you have, and enjoys feeling the sensations as well, chances are he'll have a whole new outlook.













my partner in the siggy exchange




iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2005
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 10:37pm
What I did with my boyfriend is guide him with my hand over his.....He was totally in the wrong place (and I learned with guys before him that instead of getting turned on I am turned off and frustrated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 10-08-2007 - 11:30pm

I remember your original post......and all I can say is that NO ONE is that dense.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 11:43am

What "effort"? Most guys like to give oral pleasure to a woman because they like to do it.


It shouldn't require any more effort than intercourse.


Now "manual stimulation" can be tricky for a guy to perform, especially so if his everyday work requires rough usage with his hands. I know that my sense of touch left me years ago becuase of the kind of work Iperformed in order to make a living.


But, let me suggest, there is nothing wrong with my sense of feel with my tongue, regardless of the size of my lady's clitoris.

once.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 2:22pm

"Most guys like to give oral pleasure to a woman because they like to do it."

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 4:03pm
Time to move on to another lover. This one just didn't work out. Fortunately there are many fish in the sea!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 4:22pm

Sometimes members inadvertently reply to the last comment posted instead of to the original poster. If you think something has been said to you that shouldn't have, you can choose to Report a Violation or you can choose to Ignore the Member. Since this is a public forum, you will find that others don't always have the same opinion as you.

Before offering advice, please be sure to read the original question. This member is married and is asking a question about a problem she has between her and her husband.













my partner in the siggy exchange




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 7:16pm
Well, he's my husband of 12 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 7:23pm

 Z

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2006
Tue, 10-09-2007 - 7:42pm

I agree that a lot of guys can be like that, and play the Dumb Card.