How do u tell them?When do u tell them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
How do u tell them?When do u tell them?
4
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 2:50pm

What do you tell your new man about your sexual past, and desires? I am truly enjoying my sexuality and just didn't want to be judged.

Chelle-

Amour-Propre

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 4:07pm

You don't have to tell them anything. Most likely he already knows your not a virgin, what you disclose from there is really up to you. It also has to do with your own comfort level.

I would say that in most of the relationships I have had, I divulge that sort of information over a period of time. Sometimes conversations will lead to past relationships or past sexual experiences, and that's when I usually discuss them. (Like IF and WHEN they come up.) Sometimes it's because I'm asking him something, and I might use one of my past experiences as a reference point.

I've been with my hubby for 17 years. I don't think we have any secrets, we don't keep anything from each other, but we still learn new things about each other every now and then too ;-)





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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Tue, 11-27-2007 - 9:42pm

This is from a guy. I think it is completely up to you how much you tell, and I think you should base your decision on how comfortable you are with talking about it. Furthermore, I would be very aware of what type of guy he is, is he the type that will be bothered by past experience? Or is he the type that is confident enough to not worry about it.


I usually lean towards avoiding talking about my lover's past because it quite simply doesn't matter. I recall having a girlfriend once that spoke so passionately of her pasts experience that I felt she was living in that past and that made me a little

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 12:30am

You DON'T tell them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2007
Wed, 11-28-2007 - 1:23am

Thanks for the advice! I do agree with the last poster, that the past is the past. I am more comfortable not telling them, until the relationship progresses. Some men are very insecure and if they want to know about who and what I have done in the past, he isn't the one for me. I know that it is important to know a persons STD/HIV status and whether or not they are gay/bi. But other than that, I really could care less about a man's sexual past.


Thanks!


hotcarmel

"It is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that counts."-Adlai Stevenson

Chelle-

Amour-Propre