How do women LIKE to swallow??

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
How do women LIKE to swallow??
48
Tue, 11-30-2004 - 8:12pm

How can a woman let a guy ejaculate in their mouth and swallow it???
Sorry if this sounds immature but..EEW.

That is really gross. That's a human beings bodily fluid...why would you want to swallow it?? I don't get it...Why do men WANT women to swallow??

I'm sorry if I'm offending people but...again...EEW.

And I don't buy the whole "If you love him, you'll do it"-crap. Because that's what that is...crap. I love my bf but whatever comes OUT of his penis will not go INTO my mouth lol.

I'm not being immature I really honestly DO find it gross.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 8:03pm

I don't think you are immature...some things gross people out...I don't care if the man I loved more than anything in the world wanted to go anal on me for example, my answer is no! That goes for a lot of things...

If something makes you gag, you should talk it over (more politely, ie, it doesn't make you comfortable), and he should respect it. You shouldn't be forced to do something if you don't want to. You could always try it at least, and if it still grosses you out, then stop. It won't be very sexy if you're gagging and throwing up each time after sex because something doesn't make you comfortable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 8:08pm

>>What happens if the time comes when your b/f really wants to experience oral (most guys do), do you think it's fair being in a relationship and not giving your partner a pleasure that he/she really wants to experience? Isn't that what sex is all about, wanting to pleasure our partner?<<

This is the way I see that scenario, although I don't think it would happen exactly..but who knows.

If my bf wanted oral and began to become dissatisfied with our sexual relationship and actually complained about it, I'd be very hurt, for one. But rationally, I'd definately tell him he would be very welcome to seek it elsewhere. I got into this relationship because I liked HIM not SEX. If he wanted oral that badly, he could get it anywhere he wanted and with that, throw away our relationship.

I think leaving someone because you want oral sex, is MUCH more immature than thinking certain things are "gross". That in itself displays a lack of maturity. My bf IS understanding as heck and I appreciate more than he could ever understand. His patience alone makes just leaves me speechless. I love him and I want to please him. Sex was HUGE step for me. This, even though it may not seem like it, is probably just as big of a thing for me. I was not brought up thinking that these things were what people do. I'm learning that there are no limits to what you can do with someone you want to please and someone you love. I want to do this...whether or not he asked for it...but it's hard to go down somewhere that you're not all that familiar with. It's the same for him too.

We're taking it slow and I'm talking my "inhibitions" out on these boards. And for some reason...the thought of swallowing semen..I find gross. I'll say it until I'm blue in the face and until I actually do it to speak from experience lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 9:06pm

Well I have watched this thread for a while..I think the reason that you got the response you did is because of the way to put it. You didn't come here asking us how to do something. You came here and basically told those of us that do it that we were gross. It reminds me of when some woman comes tp the may/december board and tells all the may females she is awful because she took someone's husband. I almost think that maybe you wish that we didn't because someone is telling you that you should because other girls do.

You know what? When I was 19 I thought it was gross and and all. Now I am 36 and oral sex is a nice part of our sexlife. If someone had told me then that I would like it someday I would have told them they were crazy. If someone had told me 5 years later that I would kiss my hubby after he had been down on me I would have said the same thing. As I got older and more comfortable in my relationships I have wanted to do more. Sometimes things were planned, sometimes they just happened.

Oh and as to your original question: Sometimes I swallow and sometimes I don't. It depends on how it hits the back of my throat. If I can't swallow I discreetly spit it out. I get rather hot and bothered giving oral, it's such a turn on to control him that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 9:33pm

Yes, lack of oral sex is a deal breaker for me. And I don't apologise for that. But, this doesn't mean that everyone should give oral for fear of being dumped - they can make their own choices. There are many posters here for whom lack of oral isn't a deal breaker and readers can read those posts just as easily as they can read mine. We give them two sides of an arguement and they can choose which to believe. But, let me make it clear - I am not going to start being a hypocrite; typing one thing while believing another.

Am I implying that all people who don't perform oral are uptight? Yes, I guess I am. But what I call "uptight" others may call "broadminded". It's all in the perception...just as one person's "kinky" is another person's "straight".

Regarding my ex. When I say that I still remember how uptight he was - let me describe it for you. I was an adventurous girl - with a boy who made me feel dirty and ashamed of wanting to explore different ways of being sexual. Damn right it was a horrible thing - him wanting to supress my sexuality! It took me ages to re-learn that it is actually OK to be sexually agressive. I not only remember his reticence to give oral - I also remember that he didn't want to explore different positions, he didn't want me to show him how I liked to be stimulated, he didn't like me to moan or be at all vocal, he didn't like me to play at being a secuctress....would you like me to continue?

Also, you are mis-quoting me. I did not say that I dumped him because he didn't do oral. I said that "his uptight attitude was partly what contributed to the demise of our relationship." It was his overall uptight attitude that did it - even my mom called him "an intense young man". And please note my use of the word "partly". His uptight attitude was *partly* what contributed.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 9:48pm

>>I think leaving someone because you want oral sex, is MUCH more immature than thinking certain things are "gross". That in itself displays a lack of maturity.<<

To me, oral sex is the most intimate type of sex. When a man does it to me, it shows complete acceptance of me and my body. However, if he found my vulva too awful to go near - I could not be as comfortable in bed with him. How can I relax and be comfortable with him if I know that part of my body revolts him?

As you so rightly said >>there are no limits to what you can do with someone you want to please and someone you love<< This is exactly what I expect in a relationship. And anything less is a deal breaker. At present, I don't swallow and DH doesn't care. However, if it meant a lot to him - if he wanted that complete acceptance that I crave, I would do it for him.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 10:18pm

"Regarding my ex. When I say that I still remember how uptight he was - let me describe it for you. I was an adventurous girl - with a boy who made me feel dirty and ashamed of wanting to explore different ways of being sexual. Damn right it was a horrible thing - him wanting to supress my sexuality! It took me ages to re-learn that it is actually OK to be sexually agressive. I not only remember his reticence to give oral - I also remember that he didn't want to explore different positions, he didn't want me to show him how I liked to be stimulated, he didn't like me to moan or be at all vocal, he didn't like me to play at being a secuctress....would you like me to continue"

The difference between you and the OP is that he was "preventing you" from doing things you were already comfortable with. In the OP's case she's feeling pushed to do things she's NOT YET comfortable with. You were a teen too when you were with him, but it's obvious that you way surpassed her in experience. Some people are born naturals, and others aren't.

I never had a guy who didn't go down on me either, so I never even gave it a thought as to what I would have done had none of them done it. Until I came to these boards, I never realized how SOME men felt about it. How some of them can have a true aversion. It forced me to think about it, and I know that I would rather live without it than give up a man I love. But it's obvious that that teenage boy had control issues, so it could be that he had a true aversion, or he was just purely selfish. I don't believe taht the OP and the likes of her, do it for control though. Just my observation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 10:48pm

>>It forced me to think about it, and I know that I would rather live without it than give up a man I love. <<

If that perfect guys *only* problem was in not giving oral...then I suppose I could accept it under sufferance. However, *in my experience*, hang-ups rarely exist on their own. The guys that have an aversion to giving oral are also likely to be bothered by the copious amounts of my ejaculation. Anal play will probably also be out of the question. They are also likely to feel threatened by my domanance.....it's all these things together that make him an unsuitable sex partner.

I was also thinking about the word "uptight" and how it means different things to different people. I recalled a conversation years ago with a man who considered himself to be quite broadminded in bed (not my b/f from previous posts). So, our conversation went onto what we find acceptable. Of course, we agreed on oral. But he baulked at my suggestion of swallowing. Then he baulked at the idea of me ejaculating. He freaked at my sugestion of anal and could never come to grips with how I just rip off my clothes instead of letting him erotically undress me. It occured to me that he and I both considered ourselves "normal" - however, I viewed him as uptight and he would have viewed me as kinky.

In my own situation, there is also the consideration of "once bitten, twice shy". After having been a relationship with a guy who has hangups, and then had to overcome it later, it's not a scenario that I would happily repeat.

by the way, you were concerned about there being no criticism of men who don't give oral on our board. I personally think I'm evening that score up somewhat - don't you? ;-)

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 12-01-2004 - 11:40pm

There's no doubt that everything is relative. One's mans kinky is another man's prudeness. ;-)

Actually, I'd defend a man as much as a woman....no double standards here. I like men as much as I do women. I just think that both deserve the same amount of respect - particularly when it's with respect(lol) to same exact thing.

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