HOW DO YOU GET RID OF FISHERS???!!!!
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HOW DO YOU GET RID OF FISHERS???!!!!
| Sat, 12-11-2004 - 1:42am |
I went to my ob/gyn a few days ago for pain and burring with intercourse. She said that I have fishers, meaning tiny cuts/tares all inside my vagina from intercourse. She said that until the cuts/tares are healed, intercourse will be painful. She said that some of the cuts might even be nerve deep. The thing is, I will be able to see my husband between December 16th and 26th for about 5 hours or less per day. After that he goes to Iraq in January. We have been told, for sure that this will be out last time together until he gets back. I am afraid that I will not be healed up by then. Does anyone know of how to make these cuts/tares heal faster or to make the pain go away during intercourse? Any medication? Also, the cuts/tares were caused from intercourse. Any help would be great. Thanks!

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What did your doctor tell you? Didn't he/she suggest some kind of treatment? Tears and fissures are the same thing, and if it was caused by intercourse means that the intercourse had to be VERY painful! Usually it's anal fissures, which is another name for hemorrhoids.
Didn't the doctor tell you that you probably need lubrication? If you don't do anything to tear again they should heal in 4-5 days, but even if they've healed, it will be very tender, and you have to be VERY careful not to tear it again. If it hurts, then you'll just have to forego intercourse, and settle for other things like oral and/or manual stimulation.
If you're not getting enough foreplay before intercourse, you will be dry and tight, and that will cause pain and damage. You need some KY or Astroglide to prevent that. If you try, and it hurts stop immediately, because you'll just do more damage!
For future information, intercourse is NOT supposed to be painful. If it is, then you're not ready, aroused and lubricated. If that's the case, then you need to STOP!
ouch!!
The vagina, like any part of the body, will heal faster if you have a healthy diet. Lots of vegetables and fruit = plenty of vitamins.
However, based on your previous posts and the extreme problems you and your husband are having with sex, I feel a break from sex would be most prudent. You need to stop putting so much stress on the importance of sexual intercourse and just go back to the basics for a while. Instead of worrying about intercourse, why don't you spend the time learning how to please each other with manual/oral play? Spend the time learning how to overcome your fears of sex and the associated issues of feeling dirty etc. Learn how to simply enjoy sex without wanting it to become a deep and meaningful expression of love.
Just have fun and relax. Find that lusty 17yo that you used to be.
Is your husband also new to sex? Even if he's not, it sounds like he doesn't understand the female anatomy. First time sex can hurt.....if you're not adequately aroused and well lubricated. 100th time sex can be just as painful, if you're not adequately aroused and lubricated.
Even first time, unless you have an unusually thick hymen is NOT supposed to tear you, and leave you with open wounds!
Being willing to have intercourse isn't enough. It takes lots of foreplay to get you relaxed, and for you to produce your own lubrication. If you didn't use extra lube the first time, that's probably when the tears occured. Once that happens, you have to take time off to let them heal. If you kept at it continually, you just made everything worse. Imagine falling and scraping your knee on cement. Then a day or two later, falling again, and scraping that knee again. If it wasn't healed, which takes at least 4 or 5 days, sometimes a week or two, can you imagine how that would hurt? It's not healed, and you tear it open again. That's exactly what is happening with your vagina. It's not been allowed to heal before you tear it open again.
I can only repeat what I said before, and what Tish told you. It's unfortunate that your husband will be leaving in a few days, but it's also imperative that you allow yourself to heal, or you're liable to do permanent damage, or get an infection on top of what you already have. There are lots of other things you can do besides intercourse, and that's what you'll have to limit yourself to until you've healed.
Even being new to sex doesn't make your vagina tight. Every woman's vagina is tight, untill they're aroused, and the vaginal muscles relax. Even if she's been sexually active for years. That's how the vagina works. When you're not involved with sex, it's tight, when you're aroused properly, and ready for sex, it relaxes, and force isn't needed. Good Luck!
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Hi Ladies:
ITA, let the vagina heal.
When I went to see my hubby over thanksgiving I was able to be very open and talk to him about how I feel about sex. I have become 100% comfortable with doing anything with him. A huge mile stone :o) I just really want to make love to him. I want to be able to enjoy it! I love doing it, and want to more, it feels good, but the pain can be a bit much. Has anyone had this prob b4? What did your doctor tell you? Mine told me to give it a few days to heal, and then everyday insert a well lubricate finger in to my vagina and move it about, to help get my body used to the friction, and just having something there. I told my husband that before he goes to Iraq that we might not be able to have intercourse, he was a little disappointed, but was completely understanding. He feels really bad that I am going through this and thinks its his fault. But its not. Whenever we were having intercourse and I started to feel pain, I would tell him not to stop. So its really my fault. My doctor also said that I have what she calls “honeymoon hangover”. Meaning to much sex in a short time, especially for a person new to sex, 6 times in 4 days.
Edited 12/11/2004 5:08 pm ET ET by justmarried102104
I agree with the general mindset of the replies here. PLEASE consider the option of holding off from intercourse if need be so that your body can PROPERLY rest and heal the way it NEEDS to......without the additional damage thats obviously caused by intercourse.
(psst...GREAT wording, Aisha!)
From what I've learned from Mrs. Para and her experience with taking those hormone balancing birth control pills, your level of estrogen will affect the overall health and even the healing power of your vaginal walls...if I'm remembering this right.
Anyway, here's an article that you REALLY need to read, in my honest opinion, so that you know in accurate detail whats really going on in there regarding this situation. The pain just couldn't be worse by the sounds of it all, so our hearts go out to ya:
http://www.womenshealthmatters.ca/facts/quick_show_d.cfm?number=505
In the meantime, I like what everyone has mentioned and I also place special attention to the option of enjoying sex without the intercourse, like aisha pointed out. There is so much fun
AND intamacy
with oral and manual sex and even sensuous body massages along with that, like me and the Mrs. enjoy so often, whether intercourse or no. Please keep those options in mind and don't place intercourse on the top of the food chain so much, no matter how enjoyable it is. Sex is enjoyable without intercourse, so please remember that and VERY good luck to you.
GOD BLESS your hero, by the way, prayers are with him!
:)
:)
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
Shouldn't rush into intercourse, let your body heal.
Others have suggested that a lack of foreplay/lubrication caused the pain and tears. I do agree that's the most common cause of uncomfortable intercourse. BUT in your case, you said you had lots of foreplay and used lube. Makes me wonder if your situation is caused by a medical reason?
Do you get wet when you masturbate? When you read an erotic novel? When you watch something romantic or erotic (like soft or hard porn)? If you don't get wet at all when you're most turned-on, then maybe it's something to discuss with your ob/gyn. It could be related to hormones or certain glands.
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