how do you know it's an orgasm?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2004
how do you know it's an orgasm?
7
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 2:45pm
okay guys
stupid question here, i've been sexual active for about 4 years now, having sex on a pretty regular basis, with the exeptions of a few slow streaks here and there... but i still don't know if i've ever actually had an orgasm.
When i'm having sex or being fingered there are times when it'll feel REAALY good, but it's like a big plateau that i just can't get over it, but yet i'll come. Or when i'm being fingered, i can come in like seriously 2 minutes.. so fast.. but it's nothing like fireworks or how people say it is..you know what i mean.
I have a vibrator, that is pretty amazing actually, but it's like i'll use that and i'll have a climax kind of feeling (not sure if thats what is) but it's so fast, (seriously like a second) and afterwards i'm still feeling like i want more... i can also come from a vibrator (is that normal) when i'm stimulating my clit.... and i've never heard of that happening to anyone else before, yet i'll come and won't have an orgasm.
i don't mind the cumming thing, and my boyfriend digs it, but he thinks everytime i come-- that it's like when he cums.. which isn't the case...
any suggstions or insight!
Thanks guys
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:19pm
has he ever went down on u and how old are you
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 3:40pm

When you are talking about cumming, are you talking about female ejaculation?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:01pm

I'm confused by your questions, and I think you're confused too. When you say "come" as Trish mentioned, are you talking about a large amount of liquid, or are you talking about being "wet" (as in lubrication)? You lubricate when you're aroused, and that has nothing to do with orgasms. Most people use the two words interchangeably, "come" and "orgasm", or in the case of a guy, "come" (or "cum") as in ejaculation.

The general consensus about orgasms is that if you have to ask, then you haven't had one. Most women don't have orgasms from intercourse alone, it takes clitoral stimulation at the same time. It's not unusual to be sexually active, but not have orgasms....some women never learn how to have them, or they take years to learn. It took me over 20 years to figure out what I was doing wrong.

Women have it over men, because they can have multiple orgasms and they can have multiple ejaculations....but you have to learn how to have both, and you have to "allow" them to happen. Concentrating on them, or making them your goal is one sure way to make sure it won't happen. Learn to enjoy everything that is going on, and think about nothing else but the pleasure you're having......and you'll have orgasms. Think about whether or not you're going to have one, and it won't happen, because you're not concentrating on the pleasure.

Tell your b/f not to worry about it, it will happen when it happens, and until then, both of you should just concentrate on the pleasure part of it. Orgasms don't make sex good, but good sex makes orgasms happen.

The best way of describing an orgasm is that it's similar to a sneeze that you feel coming on.....you know it's going to happen, and you can either concentrate on stopping it, or you can let it go......feel it coming, it happens, and it's over.

Avatar for nodinero
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2005
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:32pm
When I have an orgasm it typically feels like vaginal contractions or fluttering. It's very hard to describe. I can feel it coming on, and if it's during intercourse my hubby says he can sometimes feel the contractions..but not always. You will know when you have an orgasm, it's amazing. Mine doesn't last that long and I'm very sensitive afterwards. But I could have another in 15 min or so depending on how tired I am.

 

 

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 4:53pm

It sounds as if you're stopping as you ejaculate but before orgasm. Have you tried continuing the stimulation through the ejaculation to see what happens?

I don't ejaculate myself but I KNOW when I've orgasmed! The typical reply is if you've had one, you wouldn't have to ask the question. Orgasms can vary depending on the length and type of stimulation and the length of arousal.

Most, for me, are very poweful because we spend at least 30-45 minutes of foreplay building to that point. Those orgasms are gripping, starting in my genitals with powerful contractions radiating from my rectum, vagina, uterus, stomach and outward and upward. I will lose visual focus and feel as if I'm floating, almost in an semi-conscious state for a few seconds. Sometimes, I will continue having them, if my DH keeps stimulating me in a less direct way, and then building to a crescendo again.

Other times, my orgasms will be pleasurable but quicker and shorter and not nearly as powerful but I will still feel satisfied, just not as tired. Orgasms will vary in quality with each experience though.

IF you don't feel satisfied after ejaculating, then you likely haven't orgasmed. You would feel definite satisfaction and fatigue if you had. I would continue experimenting with your vibrator and with your partner and see what happens.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2004
Mon, 06-06-2005 - 5:11pm
thanks for the info guys. i'm a 21 yr old female. and yes he's done oral on me... but.. he doesn't do it long enough i don't think. he just kinda hangs out down there for a few minutes, or changes up what he's doing right when i'm starting to get into the ryhthm he's doin or whatever...
and when i say cum i mean, it's definetely FE... for sure.. gets evverywhere.
thanks for the info though!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Tue, 06-07-2005 - 4:39am
with my FE, I don't get any "fireworks", just wonderfully wet. And the only orgasm I get close to "fireworks" is g-spot.