how to get him to last longer

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
how to get him to last longer
14
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 10:09pm
I have been with my guy for more then a year now and some times he will last for a long time but most of the time he really dosent last all that long and I was hoping that some one could help me find a way to get him to last longer. Any ideas?


Edited 4/11/2006 10:13 pm ET by with_this_knife

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 12:03am

You can't do anything about how long he lasts.....he's in control (or not in control) of that! He can train himself, but that's also up to him.

If you're not being satisfied because he finishes too fast, the concentrate more on the foreplay so that you'll be satisfied before intercourse, and then it won't matter so much. Most women get their orgasms and satisfaction from oral and manual foreplay. "Ladies first" should be every man's credo.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 12:38am
I would suggest asking for an orgasm BEFORE intercourse, via manual or oral stimulation. That will take the pressure off him to last an indefinite amount of time AND it will free you from feeling frustrated if he doesn't last very long. But only he can train himself, through masturbation, to last longer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 1:00am

WT,


I think the first step would be to try and determine why he doesn't last so long the times that he does not.


Has he

Avatar for ukgirl82
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 10:36am

He could try using a ring that goes around the base of his penis, they help slow him down. They're called c o c k rings, sorry if that offends anyone (it wouldn't let me use the word!) and I don't normally bypass the censors out of respect but that's what they're called!

But other then that, he needs to train himself to hold off.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 11:34am
You might surprise him with a BJ before your date and then after you guys go out and come home for some serious business, he should be ready to last a long time. In his mind he can't wait to get to it, but you can help by talking to him to slow down, relax and enjoy. Also it takes practice, so practice, practice, practice and talk to him while having i/c or foreplay.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2006
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 11:49am
Well as far as I know he hasnt had any heath problems. And as for him all was having this problem yea it has always been there. I have asked him to masterbate but he dosent like to do that he likes it when I do but he wont do it him self. But thank you all for your in put it has helped a lot when I see him this week end I will try all that I can... Also do you think that if we saw each other more offen this would some what subside? we only see each other on weekends because im still in school and he works not to menchen we live an hour or so a way from each other(sorry for the bad spelling D= )
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 5:52pm
I had the same prob. w/ my bf... and I can't just be blunt w/ him and be like "you come too fast' so I did ask him to mastrubate, his reponse to me was he likes to have sex w/ me rather than mastrubation. I don't get it.. how is it that the guy doesn't like to mastrubate??? He only mastrubate i would say once or twice per month.
Crazy!
But yeah, if you guys had sex more frequently he would learn how to control himself better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 10:18pm

May I add some comments from the male perspective?

I, too, suffer from PE (premature ejaculation). There are several reasons why. First and foremost, I just don't have sex or masturbate enough to desensitize my penis. I have a very sensitive spot on the bottom side of my penis just below the head where it meets the shaft. It's like a little raised area and just stroking that will make me orgasm. The more you have sex or masturbate, the less sensitive this spot becomes and the longer it takes to orgasm. That's why the numbing creams help. They cause a loss of sensation in certain spots to help delay ejaculation. In this case, practice may not make perfect but it sure is fun trying ;-)!

Second, I am a large man. I have a gut. As such, my gut pushes down on my pubic area and causes my penis to sink inside a little. Yep. No dangle to my penis. Yep. Very embarrasing. So much so, in fact, that I won't use public restrooms out of fear of being stared at. The effects of having this "innie" means that the sensitive parts of my penis never rub against my underwear or pants. Uncircumcised men statistically don't last as long as circumcised men due to this issue. My best friend is a testament to this since he had a circumcision not too long ago and now lasts for a long time where previously he lasted only a short time.

Third, I just plain get off watching my wife get on me and enjoy sex. The more she enjoys it, the more I get off. Plus, our equipment mates together in such a way that she rubs the most sensitive part with every little movement. No wonder I spout off so quick!! She rocks my world!

To make up for all this I spend hours giving her pleasure. From back rubs to manual stimulation to oral sex. I love my wife's equipment and worship it for the gift it is. I make my arms and hands hurt. Carpal tunnel syndrome won't come from typing and I'll be embarrased to tell the doctor where it happened! So when I only last 3 or 4 minutes, I don't feel so bad since I took care to put her pleasure first. She has never complained about sex with me. I was the first to ever make her orgasm and put her needs above mine. Not every man will do that.

Now, what can you do to help. First, no pressure! Don't ever complain! It will literally crush him! Keep going just like you are and encourage and love him despite this. Second, have sex more often or help him masturbate. This helps desensitize the area a bit. Besides, a hanjob in the hallway completely unexpected is a WONDERFUL thing! You can also try a numbing cream but be warned that it can desensitize you as well. Third, when you are ready for the real deal, have him come first right off the bat. Then go on with other pleasures until about 30 minutes have passed then try intercourse again. He'll usually last longer since he's already gone once.

This is not a problem. It's an enticement to get closer than ever before. Make it an adventure and you'll both be better for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2000
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 11:10am

That sensitive spot just back of the head you're talking about is *the* most sensitive part for any guy.

I'll second the idea of getting each other off quick at the start with oral or hands, then taking your time revving him back up for IC. If you want to try one of those desensitizer creams, try using it in the tip of his condom so it doesn't affect you as well. Another idea is to have him do 'Kegel' exercises, working the muscles he'd use to start/stop urinating. That will also help his endurance.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 11:51am
Right on. Now if only the women would understand what you described! The more you do it the longer you last!

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