How to get him to open up?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2003
How to get him to open up?
1
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 10:39pm
My DF and I have been together for 4 years but I can't get him to open up about sex. Whenever I ask about his fantasies he says he doesn't have any. If I ask him if he likes or doesn't like something he just says it doesn't matter. This gets really frustrating because I don't know if he likes what I'm doing or what his true opinion is about anything I bring up. How do I get him to talk to me about what he wants and thinks?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 10:51pm
Maybe he doesn't HAVE fantasies! Not everyone does, you know!

As for what he likes and doesn't like.....Maybe you just have to ask him specifically. Do you like it when I (___FITB____)? He'll probably say yes. Then give him choices...would your rather I do "this" than "that"? Which do you prefer?

You can't make an uncommunicative person talk. Maybe you could force him by telling him you'll do NOTHING until he specifically asks you to do a particular thing, but that seems kind of childish.

Just accept that he doesn't like to talk about it, and do whatever YOU like to do. I guess if he's been around for 4 years, you must be doing something right!