How to give the "yellow" light....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
How to give the "yellow" light....
4
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 1:46am

Hi all,

So I recently went on birth control for the first time. I'm a virgin. I was casual about telling the guy I'm dating that I'm now on BC. (He knows that I'm waiting until I'm truly in love and he respects that.) When I told him I'm now on the pill he said, "Have you been on it before?" and I said, "No." Hopefully he took that as a compliment. :)

Anyways, while I know I'm not quite ready for sex yet, I am ready for "other things". He has been totally respectful of me while we've shared a bed at his place. Almost too respectful. :OP

My question is, how do I let him know it's okay to touch me "there"? Do I just wait and let him "venture" when he feels he should, or do I, say, move his hand south manually?

Whose court is the ball really in? Should we talk about it first?

Thanks for making such a "weird" question easy to ask!
I appreciate your replies. :)

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 2:46am

A "yellow" light means CAUTION! I don't get why you would tell a guy that you're on b/c if you're not ready for intercourse. For those "other things" you don't really need b/c. Why would you would think he would complimented by your decision? What he probably thinks is that you're ready for intercourse, otherwise why get on the pill, and why tell him about it?

If you're thinking he's special, and you want things to go further, then yes, you need to talk about it. You need to tell him you're open to foreplay, and everything but intercourse...By stating the facts, there won't be any confusion on his part.

And don't forget, unless he's a virgin too.......you still need condoms for STD protection. STD's can be spread even without intercourse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 6:11am

Thanks for your reply!

I told him about the pill primarily because it's had a side effect of mood swings, where I start crying for no reason. He'd been asking why I seemed down, so I told him.

He also knows that I'm on the pill due to the cramps and because I've decided it's a good idea in case I decide I feel ready. :)

Pink

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 6:41am

Hi Pink,

I think it could become confusing to just become active now. Since he knows you're on the pill, he would probably take any advances you make as a sign that you are ready.

Since you have talked to him about being on the pill, I'm sure he's thinking that will work to his advantage. I think you should talk to him outside of the bedroom and either ask him "why" he never tries to fool around with you, or tell him that you are ready to begin experimenting, but that you're not read for intercourse.

Keep in mind that it takes the pill a full cycle to become effective, and that it won't protect you from STDs. Even activities like oral sex can spread STDs, so you may need to practice safe sex during foreplay activities as well.



Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting




Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


my partner in the siggy exchange





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 7:32am

Talk to him, tell him what you want and make your boundaries

Photobucket