How to hide my horniness???

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
How to hide my horniness???
8
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 9:29am
How do I hide my sexual excitement when I am with a new man? Tonight will be the third date with him, and we will be going swimming, and there will be other people there as it's a small pool party for kids and he is chaperoning/babysitting. We will be the only adults there with a bunch of preteens, who are mostly his nieces and nephews. He has sexy arms and a nice butt in jeans and a t-shirt. Tonight I will be seeing him in swimming trunks, and I don't want to seem like some sort of nympho slut, but I know I will get incredibly excited the minute I see him. I will be wearing a fairly modest bathing suit, sexy enough, but respectable enough not to show too much skin, and it hides my flaws fairly well. It's more of an athletic look rather than a sexy look. This guy is very religious and wants to wait to get intimate (we had this discussion before we even met in person). Although my libido is sky-high, I am trying to turn over a new leaf and not jump into bed so quickly with anyone, so now I want to take the slow approach so that someone will respect me and get to know me for my heart and my personality instead of "wham bam, thank you mam". My question is, how do I control myself, should I purposely not look at him? Concentrate on having fun and playing lifeguard to the kids instead? I used to be a lifeguard, so I am trained. How do I turn off my excitement when I look at this guy? I don't want my pheromones flying in the air, which could make me look desperate or like a female cat in heat. HELP!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2007
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 11:03am

I'd suggest thinking about baseball. That's what us guys do. *grinz*

Seriously though, try concentrating on having a real conversation with him. Talk about his nieces and nephews or something that will keep your mind off what you might really be wanting to do to him.

Remember - sexy guys have brains, too! *grinz*

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 11:48am

Just don't act horny even if you are,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 12:00pm
Thanks for your replies. I think that concentrating on watching the kids will put me in serious/responsible mode, so I will be able to keep my mind off of sex. I just have to play it cool, I know that. I think that maybe I am worrying more than I have to? Once I get there, it will probably be okay. I certainly don't want to rush sex even if I were alone with him anyway. I just hope he doesn't look TOO hot in his swimming trunks. Oh well, I guess I will just have to concentrate on other things when I get there, like maybe good conversation, humor, music, whatever. I will play the fun babysitter like I do when I'm with my own nieces/nephews. Thanks everyone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 12:00pm
How about just acting like a mature adult? How about putting sex in it's proper perspective? The man's not interested at the moment.....so stop thinking about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sat, 06-09-2007 - 12:41pm
Sakura, thanks for your insight, but that is exactly why I am here posting on this board instead of "doing" it. I admit I have had a problem in the past, which is why I am trying to correct it. After being in a sexless marriage and finally getting divorced, I went for a year dating guys and jumping into the sack too quickly, and then getting dumped. I want to change that pattern. I sure don't want to make a fool out of myself, and I don't WANT to think about sex. That's the whole point. But thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 4:16pm
As a follow-up, yesterday went very well. It was a rated G, Walt Disney type of day, LOL. I played more the part of the lifeguard/girlscout leader and we all had a great time. I DID get excited when I looked at the guy, but I just tried as hard as I could to keep my mind on other things, and it was fun. I really like him and he seems to really like me. Crossing fingers and toes here, lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 6:51pm

You may need to cross your legs instead of your fingers and toes!!!LMAO

Sounds like you a dealing with something typical for a young healthy woman. Your time developing your communication skills with this guy may pay off in the long run. Communication and trust are key to any long term relationship.

Good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Fri, 06-15-2007 - 10:16am

I had (have) the same problem with a sky high sex drive. This time, when my last relationship blew up (never should have moved in with that guy but I was sleeping with him), I took the edge off with my rabbit (see toys) before going on a date. I didn't want to be jumping into bed with every guy I dated and it really helped. I held off till I met one that I actually felt like I could connect with in ways other than sexual! The only reason I had been through so many relationships over the past years was because I would jump into bed with the first guy that paid serious attention to me and would become attached before really knowing if he was compatiable anywhere BUT bed. Then I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings by sending him packing. But if you are satisfied (at least with the edge taken off) before you go somewhere with this fellow you should be able to handle it!

Sounds like a nice guy ... good luck with him!