How long before 1st orgasm?
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How long before 1st orgasm?
| Wed, 11-30-2005 - 7:16am |
From what I've read on this and other boards, most women don't orgasm on their first lovemaking session for a variety of reasons (I'm not counting solo masturbation here). From the first time you had intercourse, how long was it before you orgasmed with a partner?
I'm a male, and for me it was about the fifth time. I had horrific performance anxiety and had trouble staying erect when I entered her. I'm OK now, though...most of the time.

You're asking me to remember 28 years ago!
How about 24 years? I was married at 19, a virgin...to a man who was also unfortunately a virgin! He didn't have a clue, nor did I. In those days, orgasms weren't in our vocabulary, and pleasing our husband was what was required (and if they knew what they were doing, you might even get some pleasure, lol). I was married to him for 20 years, and dated a little after my divorce, but until I met a man who made it his "mission" to help me get there at age 43 I'd never had ONE. And guess what, I honestly enjoyed sex all those years without orgasms. You don't miss what you never had, and never knew that it existed! I'm now multi-orgasmic, and it is great, but if I never had another one, I would still enjoy sex. Orgasms are NOT necessary to enjoy sex, they're a bonus. Admittedly, a very nice bonus! Too much is made of it these days. Women feel like failures if they don't have them, and men think something is wrong with THEM if their partner doesn't have one (and in some cases that's true, too!)
Now, after learning HOW to have them, and learning to allow them to happen, I can have them almost immediately. BUT, when I've been with a new partner, it would take a few times.....simply because it's a new person, who doesn't know your hot spots, and in a new relationship, I think both parties hold back just a little till they figure out the other person's wants, needs, and proclivities.
It was 25 years ago, so the exact amount of time is lost in the mind somewhere.... It was however many many months, if not years.
Mancreature, this was a good topic. I enjoyed reading the other responses and in particular need to second a comment made, "You don't miss what you never knew". In those first months or years I loved our sex life and never thought anything was missing. But once I did experience an orgasm that became a goal. Both of us were more preoccupied with getting done and seeing if I had gotten one than we were interested in just enjoying the pleasure of each others company.
Years.
I had a healthy sex life but it just didn't happen.
Even now sometimes I put myself under pressure mentally that I have to "get off", which really means I won't that time. I hate it when guys focus on me finishing before they do, that gaurantess that it isn't happening for me! Luckily, my man isn't like that at all, and I find that I relax with him a lot more and probably 80% of the time I can finish :)
Edited 12/2/2005 2:20 pm ET by katmandoo2001