How to make each other cum thru oral?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
How to make each other cum thru oral?
6
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 7:51am

hello girls and guys!

bf and i have been going out for 3 very satisfying months and our sex life is getting even better and better, but one thing that we can't do to one another is getting the other to cum whilst we doing oral. we both get very turned on by doing this but somehow we seem to not hit the right spot. from our histories, the only time when ive have cum all the time is when i ve had lesbian sex (any way: clits rubbing together, oral and fingering) and have thought back then that only a woman can pleasure me in this way (i havent been with a woman for the last 10yrs), and with my bf, he has said that he has never experienced orgasm purely by a blowjob. recently i have discovered that a new 'move' that he introduced has brought me closer to cumming but not quite hitting the spot yet, as it were (by lightly stroking near my clit thus widening my lips more apart). he too has said that he's very close to cumming when i have a variety of licks/sucks and movements to his penis, but only momentarily but cant quite tell me what actions i do specifically tho'!

we both love each immensly and there's nothing more in the world for my bf to achieve more orgasms from me (about 1 in every 3/4 times per night/day over a w/e thru' penetration) altho' i tell him there's no pressure from me to have one, as i believe in the whole person's love for me than one single aspect of sex, and he feels the same for me too in this. don't get me wrong that this is one failing side to our sex life, as it isnt a 'negative' at all. we just we both want to give out very best to each other, that's all. fortunately, we're both very similar in our views about sex that it really doesnt matter if we dont cum, so there's no pressure from either of us.. i just know that when i do cum thru penetration is that it'd be great if i do so in his mouth, and vice versa..

can anyone help me with this, i 've read a lot of tips posted here and also in books but to no avail. hope to hear from someone soon, preferably if theyve been thru' this experience and have 'cum out of the other end' (pardon the pun, coulnt't resist!) xxxd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2000
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 2:36pm

Oral is marvelous, but some guys need the friction to get there, and a mouth just isn't as snug a fit as a vagina. You might try wrapping your hand around him and keeping it against your mouth as you take him orally, or alternate mouthwork with a few quick hand strokes, especially around the head where he'll be most sensitive. Then plunge down on him again.

If you're both comfortable with it, you might also play with his backside a bit while you're going down on him, and see if it intensifies his sensations.

For you, maybe you need more direct stimulation of the clit; can you think of moves that got you there from your lesbian encounters that he could follow?

Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 4:06pm
just google,"how to give oral sex"..there is a wealth of info there. Remember you or he can`t give the other an orgasm, but you can give the proper stimulation...When it is feeling really good, dont change anything you are doing, keep doing what is feeling good at the moment..That will give the recipient something to focus on...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 7:59pm

I think you hit it in your post - there are those underlying feelings of "shorting" the other. At least that happens sometimes with us. I'm all willing to go total oral, but he feels like I should get something out of the deal and it can take longer.

Did that make any sense?

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 11-28-2006 - 11:59pm

No one can "make" their partner have an orgasm. If your b/f says he's never finished during oral sex, then it's his problem, not something you're doing or not doing. Lots of guys can't finish from oral sex....and there are probably lots of psychological reasons that they can't.

Are you "taking turns" or are you trying to do it to each other at the same time (69)? That's a "fun" thing to do, but for most people, they don't finish that way because it's too hard to concentrate on what you're doing for him, and the feelings you're having from what he's doing to/for you at the same time. Most people can only do one or the other, not both. Take turns....it works better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 4:29am

We prefer to do each other separately rather than 69. First I will go down on her. I will use my tongue to stimulate her clitoris alternately inserting it in her vagina. Another thing we do is to use a Pocket Rocket on her clitoris while I go down on her. She always cums. After she cums we kiss deeply sharing her juices.
When she gives me a blowjob she lubes my penis and uses a combination handjob and blowjob. She uses her mouth on the head and her hand on the shaft. I always fill her mouth with cum.




Edited 11/30/2006 4:09 am ET by oldkinky
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 11-29-2006 - 7:06am

hey - cheers to everyone who's made the effort to reply to me and the tips they've raised.
cl-yoga_goddess:
maybe there is a bit of pressure for him to prove to me his efforts of wanting to love me the right way, but it isn't the be-all and end-all to gain an orgasm as i tell him regularly (btw, i don't ever show any disappointment in his performance). we both know within ourselves that we want to orgasm for each other, but i know it's hard for me to do so as it's not within my past experience to gain one thru oral (tho' in penetration it only happens once or twice in a w/end toget).
dakine001:
we do take turns to give oral to one another, and sometimes we do 69s but that never really helps us to 'fully experience' the other's body as we're so into giving to each other rather than allowing the sensations we're getting from them. no matter how much time and loving we're offering to the person, it seems we're not getting all the way there. he tells me i'm occasionally hitting the spot(later after we had done it) but never quite staying with it as i've moved on to another 'technique'/spot/rhythmn (whatever!).
oldkinky: the only time when i've used a vibrator/dildo was about 10yrs ago, and i didnt think much to them as they weren't really my thing (too unreal/hard), so i can't imagine they'd be any good for me now. my clitoris is rather sensitive and i prefer gentle strokes near there (very occasionally i don't mind him touching on it). sometimes i find him 'gorging'/ravishing me (coz he can't help himself when he sees me waiting for him to take me!!) and that can sometimes be a lil' off=putting as it's too rough. i'll tell him to slow down or to be gentler but he tells me i sound too lecturering/instructive and this can be upsetting for him (perhaps i was saying it everytime back in those early days, so now i don't tell him no more) so i can't win either way...
i will have to use lube on him and vary the handjob with the blowjob. i do know that he's sensitive on the top of the penis so experiment on that might help.

i really appreciate your thoughts on this and it would be great if you have anything more to say to me.. i would love to do this for him just for the one experience. xxxd