How many FWB here ?
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How many FWB here ?
| Tue, 08-02-2005 - 1:48am |
How many FWB here ?
- Any feelings developing? You or Them?
- Just sex for you?
- Just sex for them?
- Other (Please post...)
You will be able to change your vote.

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We have to allow for the fact that some women do want a guy in their pants, but maybe just not in their life all the time. I've done the FWB thing with women who wanted the sex and wanted the special compartment of private time alone with "someone else" who was special to them in a certain way...a LIMITED way...but didn't want the complications of "relationship issues".
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I agree. I have had a FWB thing going for 2.5 years and I recommend that everyone try it at least once. You'll learn some things about yourself, and have tons of fun with it. It is hotter than anything I've ever experienced. I agree with the way you expressed it exactly, someone who's very special but in a limited way. No complications. But not the least bit of disrespect either. I think my FWB and I would not get along all that well day to day. I constantly have to watch her developing feelings for me though. She's much younger. I have never once invited her to my house (she lives fairly far away, and we've always just done the hotel thing.) I would say I see her on average twice a month or so. We don't talk on the phone except once in a GREAT while, and a quick text message every couple of days seems to suffice. What's fun (although I have to watch this becoming abusive) is that she will absolutely drop whatever plans she has -- in a very gleeful and fun way, not at all a pathetic one -- if I want to hang out.
One really interesting thing is that this seems to stand up over time just fine. It's just a very unprecedented thing in my life. The implicit understanding is that neither of us ever whines etc. if there is anything heavy going on in our respective lives. Always super courteous, super upbeat, super super hot.
The whole thing sounds absolutely nuts if you try to describe it, but in fact it works very well indeed. Contrary to an earlier poster though, I don't think either she or I have any problem whatsoever with self-respect. That being said, I don't think everyone could handle this type of thing. It's very brain-bending at times.
It is so lovely to see that I am not the only one!!!! I was just curious to see if I was alone. But I do feel that some people think I should be wearing a big fat red 'S' for slut.
I've known my FWB for 14 years - since he and my brother were best friends in school. Of course I have some feelings for him...if I didn't care at all about him then we wouldn't have gotten together in the first place. He is the only one I am sleeping with right now, and vice versa.
When I was younger I had 3 ONS. All great, wonderful, but left me feeling empty inside. I've had 3 relationships where sex was a big part of it...only 1 I feel loved me with his whole heart, unfortunately I didn't feel the same about him.
A FWB is nice because it's sex with someone who is familiar, you both know what each other likes, but you don't have the pressure of a relationship or keep trying to impress the other person daily.
I have never dropped everything and ran to my FWB. A couple of times he tried to get me to - and I told him I was busy..I wasn't, but it let him know that I am not his whore. And the amazing thing is he keeps calling after I did that. Funny how that works.
I haven't stopped looking for a relationship. I've gone out with another guy a couple of times, but there was no sex...and definitely no other vibes or feelings.
No no, I certainly don't think she's my whore. She just does that just to make it hotter.
What's an "ONS"?
It's just so nice to have a fun date where you both get dressed up a bit, go to a nice restaurant, flirt like crazy and tell the other person what you're about to do to them, tip the waiter, leave holding hands and go up to the room to spend the night entwined together, hopefully in a nice clean room with a big bed. It's so simple and so pleasant. We are so into it that despite being in hotels many many times, we have never once clicked on the TV or done anything other than have sex, laugh, and sleep.
I think an FWB can work for some rare people...IF they're completely honest, with each other and themselves, about what they want from the arrangement and are on the same page about what it will be and how it will work. And that it's just a means to a physical end while your both looking for more suitable partners.
Unfortunately, most of the time, it's not like that at all. One really wants more and hopes that the sex will convince the other that it IS more.
I would never be satisfied with JUST sex with a man that I was attracted enough to have sex with though. Sex, just for sex's sake, would leave me cold.
Edited 8/2/2005 4:23 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
I don't have one but my best friend does. She's 61, married twice (lost first H after 15 years of marriage to a sudden heart attack at age 35, the second one she nursed at home until he died of cancer). She never wants to be married again and enjoys her freedom to not have to answer to anyone or do what she wants, when she wants. She has a very happy life, her kids are grown with families of their own, she works FT, she doesn't *want* to be married or even live with someone FT, but she has a need for companionship and friendship and yes, sex, at times. She has a friend, a few years older, divorced. They go out dancing and having a few drinks, they've traveled together, he might spend Sat. night at her house after they've been out and and stay for Sunday dinner with her family, but at the end of it, he lives at his house and she lives at hers. And that is the way they both want it. They're not using each other, they know what the score is and have no expectations of each other beyond what they have. They enjoy their independence although it is a monogamous relationship, she doesn't have to worry about what time he'll be home so she can start dinner or do his laundry or pick up after him. She doesn't have to answer to him about where she spent money or why she is friends with THAT woman or why she bought THAT wreath to hang on the wall.
Ultimately, it is a wonderful relationship (he is a great guy, she's a terrific woman) for both of them. I don't see why either of them should remains celibate for the rest of their lives or get married just to have sex. And at their age and with their histories, this is just the right thing for them. They have the best of both worlds, IMO because it is so right for them both. If anything were to happen to my DH, I doubt I would want to get married again, to anyone. But I could see myself very happy in a relationship like hers, because I would have a friend but also have my independence. Perhaps theirs is a bit different from the usual situation, but there is the utmost respect between the two of them. Neither is using the other.
ONS = one-night stand
do her, never see her again.
Sounds more-extensive than most FWB. There seems to be more respect, more involvement in each others' real lives, family etc. I would hope for that someday...I don't intend to marry a 3rdtime.
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