How many more partners do you want?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2000
How many more partners do you want?
24
Wed, 03-02-2005 - 9:57pm

If you could have your druthers, how many additional people would you have sex with before you die?

(Please don't say anything so corny as one or zero.)

Avatar for elainetwirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 9:27am
I am single and I enjoy my sexuality very much. So, it is my fervent hope that I haven't seen my last sexual partner! Elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 11:14am

Well, I guess I am a lousy wife because even though I am happily married I wouldn't mind a few extras partners, perhaps a few female ones as well. As much as I love my husband, I am still curious about others. BUT, since I am happily married it will just stay to fantasy.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 11:27am
Sory, but......I didn't get married until I was almost 37. I've had over 30 partners in my life, and seriously, I only need the one I got now.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 12:15pm
Yes. Even sex could become boring if you got what you wanted, whenever and with whomever you wanted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 3:31pm
The ONLY reason I`ll not have any more sexual partners in my life (unless an unseen divorce or death)is ONLY because of what it would do to my DW is she found out. We all can be attracted to someone else other than our mates, but that doesnt mean we have to act on it. Would a variety of sex partners be fun, yes...But not at my DW`s expense.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 4:12pm
Well, I'll agree that we'll be attracted to other people but I have no desire to act on it at all. And just being attracted is a long way from pursuing other sexual partners.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 10:59am

Yeah well my DW would not like it either. I say 80% of all women because it would be fun. My DW is great but the OP did say "if"

mb

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 11:27am
And that "if" is what I based my response on, too. Changing partners based on mood, or physical attraction alone seems to be what this question is referring to. Sex with a man I barely know wouldn't be satisfying to me and having sex for sex's sake has never been my thing. I understand that some men feel differently though.


Edited 3/7/2005 11:30 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 11:46am

Kat,

Great response.

I realized long ago that the "idea" of sex with another was what most people are attracted to. The reality is that it is never as good with someone that you have not known intimately for many years. Sex with my wife has gotten better every year for the past eighteen years. We trust each other more, we know what the other likes and dislikes. We feel safe enough to explore our sexuality together without the fear of judgment.

I know that some feel that they can only let out their "wildside" with a stranger. To me that is very sad, because if you don't feel safe enough to do that within your relationship, then you really have not allowed deep love to grow in your relationship. Deep love involves trust and the belief that your partner is perfect as they are.

I find many, many women attractive, but not as attractive as the intimacy that my wife and I have developed during our marriage and so I am much more attracted to her, because I know her deeply; I know the sound of her breath when she's asleep. I know that when that little wrinkle between her eyes shows, she is going to cry during some dumb movie. I know her scent and the way that she moves when she's excited, happy, aroused or angry. But at the same time I'm consistantly, pleasently surprised at the "newness" of her. It never seems dull to me. In some ways, it's the best of both worlds: I can make love to the "newness" in her while at the same time feel comforted that I am making love to a partner that his been at my side for most of my adult life.

Peace.
Scott.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-07-2005 - 4:24pm

I agree, it's the idea that's appealing rather than the reality. Because what do most single people look for? A partner. What do many married people think they want? Different partners.

A momentary attraction can in no way compare to a lifetime of experiences and history with one partner. It will be what it is....a momentary physical attraction. And IF that was really satisfying down to your core, then it wouldn't be necessary to keep repeating the experience with someone new. There's just no contest, IMO.