How much does size matter?
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How much does size matter?
| Mon, 03-07-2005 - 11:17am |
Have you ever had to deal with a guy that is small??
What do you do??
How would you handle it??
What do you do??
How would you handle it??

Brokenhearted,
It doesn't really matter what others do in this situation, what matters is what you would do. Is this something that you have confronted recently, or is this purely hypothetical? Most women on this website will have slightly different advice for you, all of it is good, but all of it is based on their personal experience.
As with all things human, there is no set way to deal with anything, other than to check in with your heart. Human beings have what they have...either it is okay with you that he has a smaller penis than what you like or it is not. If it isn't okay with you then don't try to fit a square peg in a round hole (find someone with a penis that you can accept) and allow him to find someone that will love what he has, if it is okay than love him the way that he is. I've that "you should feel this way..." or "you shouldn't feel this way..." to be useless in relationship. You feel the way that you feel and accept it...but also with the understanding that feelings change as you grow and experience more and more of life. The only constant in life is change.
Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are and what they have. It's only fair to be honest with yourself.
Peace.
Scott.
It is a hypothetical. I've recently broken up with someone. I am just starting to see someone new. I seem to be having a lot of questions about being with someone new. My ex was the only person that I've been with. So, obviously I don't have a lot of experience with different people. I just don't know what to expect and am nervous about exploring someone new! I have always wondered about the different sizes of the male penis. I'm curious about how it is for a man, how it feels when you have sex and various other different things. In a way I want to be prepared for the good and the bad, so I guess that's why I'm asking.
You are right, about loving someone for who they are and what they have or don't. I guess I was just looking for some insight into how others handle it and what they do about it.
Thank you for your response I do appreciate it. It is pretty much what it boils down to.
Thanks
Kristi
HI Kristi,
(that's my wife's name...same spelling too :0)).
Don't worry about experience or lack there of. The truth is that anytime that you are with someone new it's like starting over. The best lovers know that they don't know anything and some of the fun is learning from their partner what to do.
Take your time in this new relationship and know that he is probably as nervous and insecure about these things himself. After a while (if you are together long enough) neither of you will even remember being nervous.
Good luck.
Scott.
If he turns out to be "small" (a relative term), what would I do? NOTHING. There's nothing you CAN do. You certainly don't have to tell him, he's perfectly aware of his size.
In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't make all that much difference (Unless he's soooo teeny you can't find it!) because your vagina will adapt to whatever size a man is....within reason. A good lover knows that most women don't have orgasms during intercourse alone, and they know how to please a woman orally and manually before intercourse ever happens. A man with a large penis is no better a lover than one with a smaller penis, all other things (like knowledge of a woman's body) being equal.
Size is relative. 5.5 to 6 inches is average...an inch or two either way makes NO difference at all as far as feeling is concerned. HUGE is just as bad as "teeny" because it can be very painful if he doesn't know what he's doing.
As for your "perceived" lack of experience.....it wouldn't make a lot of difference if this was your 2nd, or your 20th. All guys are different, and you have to find out what this guy likes, and what he wants. Just as he has to for you. Every new partner is a new experience. His size is not what matters, it's what he likes, what he does or doesn't do, and what he wants you to do. That's why it's best to wait until you know each other well enough to discuss it. The first time with any new partner is usually fairly "tame"....because neither of you knows what the other person is used to, or expects. As you get to know each other better, and get comfortable, it'll be fine.
To answer your initial question, it matters a lot to some men and women and not at all to others. Me personally, it's never been an issue. Of course, this all depends on what one considers small, average, and large, too, which is completely relative.
And it depends on what your personal expectations are and whether you're willing to adjust.
I'm not a size queen who looks for that specifically so a smaller than average penis would not deter me if the man possessed all the other qualities I find much more important. Even if his penis was the size of his pinky finger, if I loved him and he made me happy, it wouldn't matter.
Edited 3/7/2005 4:15 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001