How sexual are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
How sexual are you?
19
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 11:00am
How often do you have sex, think about sex, masturbate? Do you consider those who think about sex, have sex more often than you, masturbate more than you, initiate more than you as being more sexual than you? How about those into S&M, Golden Showers, Scatological practices? Are they more sexual than you are? I personally think that there's a cap on sexuality. It can't really be compared to anything else like chess because for each person there's a cap. Each person, or couple, is custom designed to their own satisfaction. As long as couple A is as happy as Couple B, I really don't see how one is more of anything than the other. They're both satisfied and happy....which makes them both equal in my eyes. Thanks in advance.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 12:41pm

I don't feel how often you have sex determines how sexual a person is.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2005
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 2:51pm


Actually have sex....3 or 4 times a week, now. Use to b4 baby, who is now 1 yr., but post partum threw me for a loop this time and it was quite spotty most of this past year. We're about back to where we were b4 all that now.

Think about sex....quite a bit. Please ladies tell me I'm not abnormal. I think about sex a lot. Not as in daydreaming about another man or an actor or male model or anything but sex with dh. Sex we've had, what I want to do tonight or in the morning etc. Sometimes it's not so much a mental thought as a tingling that is arousing. Almost like left over vibes from the previous night or that morning. Does that make sense? Sometimes it's just hoping dh will want to tonight too.

Masturbate.....I would more often than I do but dh, well, it isn't that he doesn't like me to, it's more that he wants me to wait for him. By that I mean that sometimes he wants me to wait until we can have sex and other times he wants me to wait until he's there and can watch. I sometimes think he's intimidated by my sexual appetite, so I don't always tell him when I do/have or plan to (have children must plan sometimes) masturbate. I think basically he doesn't want me to grow attached to my toys or find I can satisfy myself just as well as he can, which would never happen......toys are fun together and can tide me over, but there's never anything as good as the real thing guys.
Toys don't kiss or touch. I don't feel breath on my skin. They don't sigh or make those manly pleasure sounds. They don't smell virile/manly. No matter what anyone says, to me anyway, they don't "feel" real. They're fine to tide me over and for dual play, but that's it. Besides, who likes to play by themselves all the time?

I don't think it's being more or less sexual that is really the question here. We are all sexual beings. We all have sexual needs and desires. I think there are others who need it and want it more often or in different ways, but it's not more sexual. If a person is satisfied at once a week or 10 times a week I consider it just as sexual. We're all sexual, some just have a larger appetite or a different appetite than others. Course I totally understand those who loose any desire for sex at all. By "all" I am generalizing.

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Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 3:31pm
I consider myself very sexual. And so does my DH. But we have different libidos. We both think about sex a lot and engage in regular sex but don't see that as a measure of our overall sexuality. We're all sexual beings whether we express it or not, from the cradle to the grave.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 6:19pm

I'm so with you on the toy thing. It's definitely not the same. Yeah, I can achieve my orgasms and everything, but it just feels completely different. And my partner seems to be able to get to areas I just can't achieve on my own lol. And I sure can't breathe on my own neck, or touch myself in places without knowing where I'll be touched next. The anticipation of what will happen next just isn't there.

The amount of sex we have depends on how often we're together. If we're together it's typically at least once a day. Even when we're both really tired we still make the effort nearly every time. If we're not together, then I masturbate quite frequently, as does my partner. Sometimes I go a couple of days without, but usually I make up for that lol. And we are honest with each other about when we do masturbate.

I know I'm a very sexual person. My confidence plays a big part in that.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2005
Fri, 12-30-2005 - 9:20pm

I have sex with my man about twice a day and masterbate a few times per week.

Normal? It is for us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2002
Sun, 01-01-2006 - 11:27pm

"Please ladies tell me I'm not abnormal."

I really feel like this is the key right here. You are all so afraid of being abnormal that definitions must be melted, generalizations must be eliminated, and all comparisons must be censored, just so you never discover that you're on the tail edge of the bell curve. And so to dance around and avoid any comparisons, everyone who isn't completely asexual will be declared to be equally sexual to everyone else, regardless of how much sex they have, how much they want, or how much they enjoy. Any distinctions between people must be ignored!

What is the fear? What's so wrong with being more sexual than the average woman? It's a good thing! And there's nothing wrong with being different, anyway! Is this more of the "good girls" thing? Just another reflection of some Catholic High School stigma against horny women?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 11:43am

You're way off--it has nothing to do with feeling abnormal. In fact, that's what I've been trying to say....that she's perfectly normal. That's just the way sexuality is. For each person it's different, and that difference doesn't make you an anomoly, it makes you "normal" for you---which is why there's little distinction. ;-)

To answer your question about "good girls"....

Don't forget that it's all relatively new--it's only been a few generations since the sexual revolution. Women are still very confused about how they're suppose to express their sexuality. Funny how you even see it here on an anonymous message board--proves my point(this woman asked if anyone else was like her, or else she'd feel like a freak).

Women have been getting mixed messages about exactly how they're suppose to act; not only before she meets a man, but while she dates him: When and how they first begin having sex; when they continue to have sex; after years of dating; during marriage; etc. For some, female masturbation is still considered taboo.

Being a horny woman has it's risks, depending on the man. For instance, a woman may WANT and DESIRE to have sex with a man she's very attracted to and likes(let's say it's their fourth date), but she may not only NOT initiate, she may also refuse if he attempts it---all because she's thinking a thousand different thoughts about how she's suppose to act, and how he may react.

Men have it easy....they're bred to be sexual.




Edited 1/2/2006 12:10 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 1:22pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 1:35pm

<<>>

I agree!

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Well, when we say "normal" and "abnormal" we usually mean relative to the population or to society, and not just to oneself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 2:02pm
....but where sexuality is concerned, that's just the way it goes. I wouldn't say that anyone with an outrageous fetish was abnormal. Where sexuality is concerned, there is no normalcy. Desires are just too vast, for it to be categorized. And, I wouldn't say that someone who has a fetish is more sexual than someone who doesn't.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )

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