How sexual are you?
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How sexual are you?
| Fri, 12-30-2005 - 11:00am |
How often do you have sex, think about sex, masturbate? Do you consider those who think about sex, have sex more often than you, masturbate more than you, initiate more than you as being more sexual than you? How about those into S&M, Golden Showers, Scatological practices? Are they more sexual than you are? I personally think that there's a cap on sexuality. It can't really be compared to anything else like chess because for each person there's a cap. Each person, or couple, is custom designed to their own satisfaction. As long as couple A is as happy as Couple B, I really don't see how one is more of anything than the other. They're both satisfied and happy....which makes them both equal in my eyes. Thanks in advance.

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I agree that fetishes don't make one more sexual. But as far as normalcy goes, I'm afraid it's too Politically Correct for me to agree with. We could certainly use certain methods to find out people's attitudes on a specific activity, and discover some sort of bell curve distribution. The middle of the curve represents "normalcy". There is, for instance, an average number of sex partners! I don't know what the figure is, but I'm sure you will find that 500 is far from it, making that an abnormal figure! There is also an average number of times someone would like to have sex with their ideal partner. If your desires are far higher than that, you are ... *abnormal*!
We can get further if you don't read "abnormal" as an insult or a slur. I don't use it that way. I'm using it very precisely, simply meaning what it does here. I am by no means criticizing anyone for being abnormal. To heck with those who enforce conformity! I'm not one of them. I ask for honesty and truth, not obedience.
The answer to "am I abnormal?" is "probably, but who cares?". Not "we've decided to revoke the concept of normalcy and pretend everyone is identical, because some people were hurt when they found out they were different".
right...but for me, even the numbers above the median wouldn't make those with higher than average libidos or more partners than average more sexual people than those with less.
I'd really like to know though, what the average libido is, wouldn't you? ;-)
Edited 1/2/2006 4:30 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
The "please ladies tell me I'm not abnormal" was meant as a slight joke. Guess it was somewhat an inside joke to myself. The women in my family have always considered me very sexual "compared" to themselves. Like I'm the odd one out, yet it seems to me they wish they were more like me. What they don't realize is that I'm not more sexual but I have more sexuality about me than they do.
For so long women were taught that sex was to be endured. Who ever said it was right, women are still somewhat confused about their sexuality, although not so much as before.
I have no problem with my sex drive, but in reference to the topic don't necessarily consider myself more sexual than most anyone else. I have my drive, they have theirs and if theirs is being met and fulfilled at their rate then their need is being met.
Besides, I see sexuality and actually having sex, as in the frequency of it, as being different. Sex is something you have, sexuality is something from within that dives us as sexual beings and can therefore perhaps dictate our frequency of having sex, how we have sex, our openness, to masturbate or find it taboo, etc.. Sexuality is a mental state and something from within. Someone who is sexual may not have sex often, may not enjoy it much, may not be willing to try much new, may not maturbate, may not initiate sex much, that sort of thing. It doesn't mean they don't have sex and aren't sexual. I think one can be sexual just by having sex, but you can also have a lot of sex without being a person with much sexuality. Does that make sense?
No I don't consider myself to be more sexual than "most" others, but I do believe my level of sexuality exceeds that of most women and some men.
It is my level of sexuality that brings me to hunger for sex, hightens my desire for it, seemingly causes others to find me sexy or sexual without really knowing me or my sexual habits or appetite, enables me to masterbate without being ashamed or feel odd or guilty about it, that causes me to get wet just by thinking of sex with dh, leads me to being open to experiment, maybe even enables me to initiate sex more or with less fear than a person with a lower level of "sexuality", maybe causes me to think of it more, be more sexually creative, etc. Being sexual just means I am someone who is sexually active, to what level it doesn't matter, if you are sexually active at all you are sexual.
Am I making any sense?
By definition being sexual means having sex.Has nothing to do with libido. Libido means how often do you WANT sex, sexual means how often do you HAVE sex(by definition.)
IMHO people who have a high libido AND have sex more often than the low libido person does make them different, Define it as you please.
Though currently between relationships, my sexual frequency can range anywhere from several times per day to once or twice a week or less. Depends upon my partner and all the factors that go into the makeup of the relationship. I never had a set itinerary or menu.
I think about sex on a daily basis, though just how much of the day is spent on sexual thought varies, depending upon the goings-on of that particular day.
I mostly masturbate on a daily basis, but that varies as well. I want to masturbate every day, but sometimes just don't get to it. If I have plenty of time, I could have a day like this past weekend, where I spent about 3 hours in bed looking through images stored on my notebook computer and coming around 10 times.
Since I enjoy sex, and rarely have a problem getting excited or climaxing, I consider myself to have a healthy libido, which I'm grateful for. I tend not to compare myself to other people in terms of how sexual I am. I think that's an exercise in futility, since everyone is so different.
Same with preferences in activities. I don't consider people who are into 'alternative' lifestyles and practices that I am not, 'more sexual' than me. Simply, and for whatever reason, have their own preferences. I draw the line at activities involving pain, abuse or lack of hygiene, so you'll not see me involved in water sports, scatology or s & m, as they would not be enjoyable to me. Personally, I could kiss and cuddle all day and be ecstatic (alright, throwing in a little 69 and 87 eventually, would be fun, too;)!
Not sure what you meant about a 'cap' on sexuality. Though by mentioning chess I think you meant that whereas in chess everyone wins or loses in the same ways, in sex, you make up your own rules, with which I totally agree. A person with what we would consider a 'low' sex drive could be just as satisfied as we are with our 'high' drive. Everyone's needs are unique. But as far as a 'cap' on sexuality, I don't think there is one. I think that communicating feelings through sexual expression holds unlimited potential for everyone!
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