How to spice it up

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2013
How to spice it up
11
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 4:15pm

I've been in a relationship for three years now and the sex is still mind blowing... But I have a problem. WE have a problem. We're stuck in a sexual routine and I don't know how to get out of it.... So I was hoping you might be able to offer up some advice. Every night we go to bed, cuddle up next to each other and it seems as though were just going to drift off to sleep without sex..... But then he slowly starts to caress my arm and my legs until I roll onto my back, we kiss, then have sex and go to sleep. Like I said, the sex is mind blowing... But it always starts the same way. 

Sorry if this is TMI but tonight I plan on jumping on him as soon as he gets into bed. Other than that though, how else can I get things started. Help! 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 4:47pm

You don't mention your child situation,  if any, but jumping on him outside of the bedroom would be an easy way to spice it up.  There are a bunch of other ways, too.  Different positions, different times of day, blindfolds, tying up, tying down, gently, 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2013
Mon, 09-30-2013 - 5:46pm
I have a four year old... So outside of the bedroom isn't really an option lol. And we have no problem keeping things interesting WHILE we're having sex, it's just getting it started that has me stumped. He shouldn't always have to initiate it but I don't know what to do to get it started... Does that make sense?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 10-01-2013 - 1:14am

You can start it the same way he starts it.........and you can start it outside the bedroom by your behavior and actions......that a 4 year old wouldn't even pick up on.  Whisper in his ear when he walks past you, or while he's watching TV........"I have plans for you tonite"!  You're very right, he shouldn't always have to start things, there is no reason you can't do exactly what he does.....or simply kiss his neck, or any other part of him.....that will get his attention!   And if he's like most men, he's going to get tired of being the only one to start it, and just give up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2011
Thu, 10-03-2013 - 12:49pm
Get out of the bedroom
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2013
Sat, 10-05-2013 - 9:54am
Hi Modernoddity, check this out: cumomatic.com. they offer tools with software that synchronizes with adult movies. Pretty awesome! Let me know what you think. I am considering to buy it.
Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sun, 10-06-2013 - 5:43pm

Surprise him by joining him in the shower; take him out to the garage (or driveway) for car sex; put on a striptease for him before you climb into bed; put candles all around the bedroom before he comes to bed; lay down on his side of the bed and make him climb over you to get in; put porn on the bedroom tv if you have one, or on your laptop and bring that to bed; leave a  note on his pillow telling him what  you'd like to do with him, or have him do to you; read a sexy story together; send him some sexy texts during the day letting him know what you'd like that evening, etc.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2013
Mon, 10-07-2013 - 9:53am

I agree about subtle but sexy messages throughout the day. Anticipation is a powerful thing. Toys are fun too if he's open to that. Some women I've know have said a lot of guys feel threatened by toys and that's kinda sad. Having sex while watching another couple having sex is pretty hot. Keep in mind if your guy starts thrusting harder or all of a sudden is really into it, it's not because he's attracted to the woman on the screen personally but what she's doing. He doesn't care what her name is, where she lives or anything else about her personally. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sat, 10-12-2013 - 7:01pm
My favorite way to initiate it is to sit right on his lap facing him and grind just a tiny bit. On a chair is good or on a couch or bed (gotta kneel for that) Tends to put the boobs close to his face. It sends a quick and clear message!
sooooobig
Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sun, 10-13-2013 - 10:27am
My hubby was one of those men who felt threatened by toys. He worried I would like the toy more than him. In spite of that, he bought a vibe for us because I wanted to try one. Now he is convinced how much fun they are. He is always suggesting I get it out (and he has bought more toys, too).
Avatar for slah54
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2012
Sun, 10-13-2013 - 10:29am

How about going to bed naked if you normally wear pj's to bed.  And maybe hide his pj's too.

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