How to talk about sex with your BF

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
How to talk about sex with your BF
18
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 8:16am

I love my BF so much and our sex life is great, it's just sometimes I wish I had more manual or oral stimulation. Sometimes he does it and the orgasm is amazing and the last time he ded that I commented on how we have to do that alot more, but I wonder if he got my point as to if it was the manual stimulation I wanted more of or the sex itself.

I'll go down on him for quite some time and then when it's my turn it's not as long and he's all fired up and ready to go well mean while I'm wanting more clitoral stimulation. It's not that IC doesn't feel amazing b/c it does and I love how the feeling of him inside of me, but if I orgasm the feeling is so much more intense when we move onto intercourse.

I don't know how to bring this up without hurting his feeling. I don't want him to think he's not pleasing me b/c he does, and I don't want him to think I need to orgasm every time, b/c when we have a quickie it's kind of tough. It tends to take me a little while, but it does like most females. Sometimes it can take five minutes and others longer or sometimes not at all. What do I do? How do I bring this topic up and when do I bring it up. It's not like there is no forplay b/c there is I just need it a little longer. One time we we're laying on the couch and he had his head on my lap and he just reached his hand under my night shirt and started playing with me, the fact that he was laying there watching me and he was just taking his time, the orgasm was so fast and intense and WOW is all I can say.

What do I do? I need advice! Oh and sometimes I wonder if he doesn't like going down on me...I tend to get really wet and I don't know if going down on me isn't his favorite thing when I'm so wet. He's never said anything about it and he does go down on me but he doesn't do it for too long and I don't know if he just thinks that was good enough for me or if he doesn't like it that much. I know guys don't get the whole fact that it takes women a lot longer to orgasm then them...so how do I get my point across without sounding mean

HELP

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 4:17pm

(scissors position)

DH and I love that!!!

That was a great idea!!

Kareese

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 4:49pm

(scissors position)

DW and I love that too!!

It's Great for oral and when I finally do come into her (I wait until she is big time ready) then we use scissors for making love so either of us can caress her clitoris while I stroke her. OR my fav is to use the vibrator on her upper slit/clit while I'm inside her. Talk about rapid fire orgasms! This is one thing we guys are majorly jealous of you ladies for - multiple O's! Isn't lovin' the best!
blonde

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 5:15pm

Ok, so I took some of your advice, but I have to start slow with it b/c I'm a little shy but I'm opening up. I sent him a suggestive text when he was at work this morning and he pretty much came flying home when he was done. He was ready to burst so I wasn't expecting much foreplay but when he entered me and we we're going at it I grabbed his face, looked in his eyes and told him I want him to touch me. Well he went right at it,I didn't orgasm but it felt great. Well we went for round two about an hour later and he immediately started rubbing my clit and even when he entered me he continued to do the same and it felt fantastic. I actually think I may have orgasimed during intercourse this time. It was an intense feeling but different then what I feel when I orgasm when he goes down on me or stimulates me manually.

When we're done and just kissing and cuddling I grabbed his hands and kissed his fingers and said I love what these hands do! He got a big grin on his face, so I think I got things rolling in letting him know that I loved it. I'm gonna try the whole letting him know that I want more while we're in the midst of things. I don't know when I would just casually bring up what I want more of during the day, I feel that it's easier for me to tell him when we are cuddling after words, where I can tell him that I love when he touches me.

I'm just a little shy, I know in the heat of the moment I can come out and tell him what I want him to do b/c I'm so worked up but I couldn't just sit down over dinner and say "So babe, could you give me more oral". How exactly do you start a converstion like that. It's not that he'll get insulted, I'm just worried about how it will come out of my mouth. I tend to get nervous and what I'm trying to say comes out differently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 6:24pm

So glad you gave it a try!!!
Starting slow is GREAT!!
I went very slow and I feel I'm still opening up
to Dh and myself. I agree it's hard to find a way
or time during the day to bring up sex. But i bet
if you did he'd take you to the bedroom!!! lol

Kareese

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 7:28pm
Hey nygirl,
Major progress there girl! You've gotta have the conversation in the way that's best for you two. So what if you can't talk about it over coffee? I think alot of women are shy that way too. I guess us guys find it easier to talk about such things with our lovers. Anyway, the point is you had a climax with him in you - which for alot of women is not an easy thing to do. (Hite report in the 80's found 70% of women had a vey hard time climaxing during intercourse - so you're in the majority there nygirl.) You and your guy are on the right track. I am happy for you both. I can tell you as a guy it feels soo good to know I've helped her to climax. It's a great feeling. But most importantly is that I've made her feel loved.
blonde
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 8:17pm

Welcome to the board enjoythebeauty.

It sounds like you are a lucky lady. Have you found that you can easily have multiple orgasms before your SO cums as well?



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




my partner in the siggy exchange






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sat, 07-21-2007 - 8:21pm

Thanks for giving us the update for the great news, and congratulations!

I noticed that you mentioned sending him the text message at work. That's a great place to start! When you want to give him another "lesson" start letting him know earlier in the day what you're thinking about. As he's already shown you, it will drive him wild!!! Once you start opening up, it gets easier and easier to do so.



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




my partner in the siggy exchange






iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Sun, 07-22-2007 - 6:01am

Thanks for responding, it was a little hard to open up and tell what I wanted, but I think seeing his response will help with my future request. He seemed to get turned on even more and when we went for round two him jumped right onto my request and when I was moaning like a nut b/c it felt so good he had this coy little smirk on his face the entire time.

Like alot of you said, I"m gonna take it slow with my little request, hopefully when we go at it again he does it again, showing me that he got what I was saying. It would be nice if I got to come everytime but alot of the time I love the quickies b/c it's so intense when he just jumps me in the kitchen on the counter :)

Pages