How to talk about sexual history, tests,
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How to talk about sexual history, tests,
| Tue, 07-26-2005 - 9:05am |
Hi,
I am thinking of being intimate with someone in the next few months. How does one bring up the subject. I have been tested & am clean. Do I need to get tested again? Should we go together? Should we do condoms for awhile?
Thanks,

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>>We have had a lot of unprotected IC but he hasn't cum inside me yet, if that's any better STD-wise, because I haven't yet been on BC. <<
Wow. That's taking a risk, isn't it? Forget the STD's for a minute: unprotected intercourse and NOT on BC?
I don't believe that semen or no semen inside you will make one shred of difference unfortunately. It might make a difference with AIDS (I honestly don't know the answer to that one), but the odds are that there's been pre-cum or some minute amount of sexual fluids or blood swapped with him already. Most of the others will be quite happy to transfer even without ejeculation.
Results shouldn't take any more than a couple of weeks at most, **BUT** you should continue to use condoms until you have both been tested again at the 6 month mark (after the first set of tests). Only then will you be considered safe. Some STDs have an incubation period of a few months, so the only way you will know for sure is to get that second test. Even the CDC recommends it.
" Scientists have documented a number of other sexually transmitted diseases that have also been transmitted through oral sex. Herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, genital warts (HPV), intestinal parasites (amebiasis), and hepatitis A are examples of STDs which can be transmitted during oral sex with an infected partner." (This is in addition to HIV) from TheBody.com
There has been a huge increase in the number of throat and eye infections of gonorrhea, syphilis, and herpes due to the number of people who think that oral sex is 'safe sex'. So yes, you are taking a chance, with both pregnancy and STDs. Did you know that two people having sex is the combined history, on average, of 810 people? That is 810 people and possible exposure to whatever they might be carrying. And that is just based on a couple who have had an average of *1* partner a year!! I will never understand, with the availability of birth control and barrier methods these days, why otherwise intelligent people put themselves at such risk. I couldn't enjoy a game of Russian Roulette.
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If you feel that you're ready for "intimacy"......then you should also be ready to talk about STD's and the possibility of pregnancy.
You keep talking about the fact that you've been tested.....isn't that like locking the barn door after the horse has run away? If your previous partners HAVEN'T been tested, then you're playing russian roulette! The point of testing is to prevent STD's......not find out if you've gotten one. You mentioned somewhere that you dislike the "anxiety" of testing.....imagine the "anxiety" if one or more of the tests come back positive! Since some things take months or even years to show up......imagine the "anxiety" of trying to figure out who gave it to you, and contacting that person and any subsequent partners to let them know about it. (and telling all future partners about it!) Most of the "older" diseases are cureable, but the newer ones aren't. It would be a lot easier to discuss it up front than after the fact.....when you have to tell a partner that you've got something, and they might have it too!
It's called "safe sex" for a reason.....better safe than sorry! Read all the information that you've been given, and talk to your gyno for more info. Good Luck!
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