hubby not interested
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hubby not interested
| Wed, 10-31-2007 - 10:00am |
Hi everyone,
I could use some advice on how to get my hubby interested in sex again. I feel like I have tried everything and nothing works lingerie, being romantic,sex toys nothing is working. I feel so sad about this.
Is this normal for a couple in their 30's, that have been together a long time? health wise everything is fine. I just want a love life again. thank for listening and for any advice you can give me.
jessie

No, it's NOT normal for a couple in their thirties, or their sixties.........UNLESS there's a problem.
You may have tried lots of things, but have you tried talking?
Welcome to the board, Jessie.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this, but it is more common than a lot of people realize. Getting to the root of the problem can also be difficult, but oh so important.
Sakura gave you a great highlight of the different things that could affect his libido. I would try talking with him, outside of the bedroom, in a very calm way. Ask him questions, and give him the opportunity to answer. If it's really difficult to talk with him, do you think he would go to couples therapy with you? Sometimes having a third, uninvolved party, is helpful to guide your conversations and get to the problem.
I would also encourage him to see a doctor. Make sure that you are letting him know that you miss being intimate, but don't accuse him of having done something wrong. Let him know that you are concerned about his libido, and that you realize it may not be something conscious on his part.
A lot of times, couples are encouraged to plan sex. While it doesn't sound romantic, it usually helps to get the two of you moving back in the right direction. Going through the motions, even if you don't feel like it, will release hormones that help to restore the libido.
Another board you might want to visit here is Mismatched Libidos, http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlclashing. A lot of couples have struggled with this in their relationships, I know we have too. It might take a little while to get it all fixed, but it is so worth it if you can get it turned around.
Here are a couple of articles that might give you some new ideas as well:
Revive Your Sex Drive: How to Handle 10 Top Libido Killers
Take your passion off the back burner
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/0,,9bp87snw,00.html?ice=iv|wb|sexhealing
Get Through to Your Man: 5 Tips for Better Communication
http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmgetcloser/0,,84s,00.html
5 Secrets of Getting a Man to Open Up
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsproblems/lnscommunicate/0,,saver_79jcxw99,00.html
Recharge Your Relationship in One Weekend
http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmgetcloser/0,,traceycox_9g1dp3qn,00.html
CL ~ Let's Talk Toys
my partner in the siggy exchange
Thank you both!!
We have both had check ups not to long ago and everything is good. He doesn't have a problem with ed when he is in the mood getting it up is not a problem at all :)