Huge difference...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2006
Huge difference...
13
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 2:22pm

OK, has anyone else had a HUGE difference in sexual satisfaction with a new partner? With my ex, sex was always fine. I liked it as much as the next person. But with my bf....oh....my....God. I never in 1,000 years thought I could feel like this. Everything is so intense and passionate. I never once in my life screamed during sex but now? I was joking that I'm going to have to buy him ear plugs.

We've been together for about 1/2 a year at this point, so it's not like things are brand, brand, new. Just the way he touches me and makes me feel....it's incredible, and I can't get enough of it. In the past, I think once a month would have been fine for me. Now, if I could get it every day I would!

Just looking for anyone else's take on this...thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2006
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 7:06pm

Hey!

I am in the same boat you are. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and the sex just does not get old. We are both so in tune with each other. I think a lot of it has to do with being in love and trusting. That way, neither of us are shy about telling each other what we want, what feels good, etc. This is the first partner I have had that has made me orgasm, so that helps too. So, congrats on finding a guy who you totally click with! If its anything like my situation, you're going to be having great sex forever!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 02-05-2006 - 9:55pm
I'm in much the same boat as you but with a twist.
The sex with my partner started off being very very ho-hum and not very good. My partner thought that it was the best sex that she had ever had and frequently said so, but for me it was not so great and I was hoping that it would get better. After a few months it began to get better. Now, 5 years plus, down the track it is the best sex that either of us have ever had.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2005
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 5:28pm
I was married for 10+ years and thought I had a good sex life. In fact I missed the sex more than anything after the divorce. I have a new man in my life now (for the last 6 months) and I can not believe the difference!!! There are no words for how good it is. THANK GOD!
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-06-2006 - 5:44pm

Well, as you said, it's only been 6 mos. You are still in the "honeymoon phase" of your relationship where hormones are high and everything is new. That's wonderful. I hope this wonderful connection you have continues on for as long as you desire.

But as with any relationship, after that phase is over, sex can either become boring and routine or BETTER, depending on your expectations and how you deal with them. If you don't make the effort to keep things spicy, sex will become mundane. Good sex doesn't just happen on it's own forever though.

My DH and I have been together 30 years and we had that instant connection from the start, too. All these years later, we still make each other a priority and take the time to keep the home fires burning. It does take more thought, effort and determination but in the long term, it's well worth it.

Have fun!




Edited 2/6/2006 5:49 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 4:04pm
I know exactly what you mean. I have been dating a guy for a little over a year now so our relationship is not brand new either, but I crave sex with him. I love it so much and I scream just about every time we make love. Your truly in love in my opinion, that's gotta be it or your man is just a really good lay! :) lol. Just makes you love life doesn't it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 9:26pm

DW and I have been together for three years now (married for 1 1/2). Our love-making certainly did not start out ho-hum, but it definitely has gotten MUCH better. The "honeymoon" phase is long gone and we still have plenty of passion and chemistry. Like Kat says, it takes cultivation and you have to make it a priority. There was an article in the new NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC about the biochemistry of love, and while I thought overall it wasn't very good, it talked about the chemicals generated by the early stages of love and how when good relationships are maintained these are replaced by a different set of chemicals that continue a different kind of passion and good feelings. One of the people quoted there stated that having orgasms is an important factor in maintaining this passion and the chemicals produced.

taoist

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Tue, 02-07-2006 - 11:05pm

Thanks for making me smile! IMO there is nothing greater than two bodies connecting.

I was married for 17 years and for 10-12 years we had great sex. My "great sex" memories held tight after I divorced him and I was quite aprehensive about seeking sexual partners for fear of not finding it as good.

Well, I have now experienced sex with passion and it is incredible! And 1 1/2 yrs later, the passion is still there.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 1:12am
Absolutely agree, Taoist. And I also saw that article.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 1:22am

No complaints here. Everytime we're together (LDR), it gets better and better.

Rubyshoes

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Wed, 02-08-2006 - 7:06am

I have appreciated reading this thread. I am recently divorced, but was separated and without sex for quite a while. The first time I had sex with another man a few months ago I was utterly overcome by guilt and while I loved the release it gave me I can't say that I really enjoyed it. Now, two partners later, I am getting into my stride and having sex like I have never had before. I had never screamed or made much noise when I was making love, but the man I am seeing now is incredible. He seems to know just how to make my whole body sing with joy and the climaxes are beyond anything I have ever had in my life. I look forward to such sex just growing and growing.

Kate

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