Husband attacked me last night!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Husband attacked me last night!
17
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 9:56am

Seriously. Last night right when I was just falling asleep my husband rolled over in bed and literally attacked me. Now my husband is a cop but he ahs never done anything like this before. I was half asleep so i actually didn't know if it was my husband or someone else. He didn't hurt me thankfully. I did up crying when he was done and slept on the couch for a little while though.

In one move of the hand he had completely ripped off my bra and underwear. I was a little shocked. I have been sexually assaulted so my defense was quickly rising. He started to finger me and hold me down. He was extremely rough and my DH is the most gentle man I know. I ended up screaming for him to stop. After about 10 minutes he rolled over and fell asleep. It was apparent to me that he had no idea what he did.

I asked him this morning if he remembered "messing" with me last night and he said no. I want to believe him because I know he would never hurt me. It just really scared the crap out of me. I don't want to be scared of my husband. Has anyone ever experienced this with a partner before? Do you think it could happen again? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thanks ~Erika~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:29am

Hi Erika,

Sorry this happened to you. I know you said you asked him if he remembered messing with you, but did you tell him what happened?

My DH has some unusual dreams and is known to do bizarre things in his sleep. Usually if I prompt him about them, he does have a faint memory of them happening. If he remembered on his own, he would probably wonder whether it was a dream or a reality. When he does things that startle me, I usually wake him up and let him know it's time to get back to sleep. Otherwise, I can usually tell him to go to sleep without really waking him up. Most of the time, it's prompted by a dream that he is having. He's never been overly agressive or done things that were hurtful to me, but he does startle me at times.

Since you say your DH is a cop, perhaps he is having some weird dreams induced by work. You might want to ask him about that, tell him what he did, and give him a chance to talk too.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:40am
I didn't get into detail with him because I was still slightly startled with what he did. I screamed at him for a few minutes but it only seemed to make it worse. Then he just stopped. I'm not sure if I made him stop or if he just stopped on his own!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 11:07am

There is a condition called *sleep sex* or *sexsomnia* where the person does not know what he/she is doing.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 12:25pm

Thanks for posting these Tish -- I'll have to check them out. I had never heard of such a thing.

I did have one scary occasion with my DH years ago. We went to the movies and saw "Misery". That same night, I woke up at about 3am while DH was standing at the foot of our bed -- with one of my feet in each hand! YIKES!!!! I woke him that time with "Oh, no you don't!" He has no memory of what prompted him to go there!

He's always saving me or doing something totally weird. Never anything sexual, so I doubt he has the same problem.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 2:37pm
I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. I suggest explaining to him what happened in detail and be very specific on how it made you feel. He may have been trying something new and doesn't want to fess up to it since it bothered you so much, so just let it be known of just how it you feel about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 3:07pm
I just tried to talk about it onthe phone with him and he just completely changed the subject. Is that supposed to mean something?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 3:28pm

I would talk to him in person, not on the phone.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 4:21pm

I agree with what Tish said. It's possible that he just couldn't talk about it at that time. I also think you probably need to have a bit more of a conversation than you could probably have on the phone.

See if you can find some quiet time to talk with him tonight.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:39pm

He probably doesn't remember. One time DH was asleep and I was laying
in bed awake thinking about remodeling the house when all the sudden
he said "I need a horror"! and he reached over in his sleep grabbed my
head and put my face on his crotch and then he let go. I was in shock!
It was funny but it wasn't. I asked him and he didn't remember at all.
Your husband was probably having a strange dream.
Let him know it scared you and then let him talk to you about it.
If he knows he's done it and it scared you. Then he probably want do
it again.

Sorry that happened to you
Kareese

Ps. welcome.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 7:52am
ROFL, Kareese. This sounds like something my DH would do. He also does bizarre things that startle me. His favorite is saving me from ??????, but it's very startling when he grabs me in the middle of the night and says "don't move". He has such panic in his voice, and it takes a long time to reason with him.


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