Husband has a ODD fantacy?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2007
Husband has a ODD fantacy?!
18
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 1:07pm

My husband wants me to have sex with another man in front of him, he says because he gets pleasure out of watching me...which i think is odd. He says he would be in total control of the situation making the man stop anytime he says so. We've never invited anyone into our bedroom before, yet he keeps on about this. Does anyone else think is weird? OR have you expierenced this?

Edited 5/16/2007 2:22 pm ET by mrs.schultz




Edited 5/16/2007 7:34 pm ET by mrs.schultz

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 2:39pm
I haven't experienced this personally but I would feel just as awkward as you. If you're not comfortable then tell him so. I just read a message board where alot of men find this intriguing so it's not uncommon. I think you should do what you're comfortable with. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 3:05pm
I've read that is the fantasy for a lot of men. But you need to discuss it with your husband. If it's not something you are comfortable with, then you don't do it. Don't do it just to make him happy.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 3:25pm

Many men have this fantasy, but for most it IS a fantasy, just as many men have a threesome fantasy. However, when it changes from fantasy to the desire to do it....I'd be very unhappy with that. Number one, I don't want to be with ANY man but my own partner. Number two, I can't imagine my partner wanting to share me with another man....I'd have to wonder about his feelings for me.

He can ask all he wants...that doesn't mean you have to agree. Tell him that most fantasies are best off staying in fantasy land! Ask him how he'd feel if you decided the other man was a better lover than he is? Ask him how he'd feel if you liked the guy, and wanted to have sex with him when DH isn't around?

It's obvious that you're not interested. Tell him that, and tell him you don't want to hear about it anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 4:36pm

Welcome to the board mrs.schultz.



Your DH is having a cuckold fantasy, which is a very popular fantasy among married men. Here's an excerpt from Wikipedia:



"In this manifestation, the cuckold is a consummate voyeur... who derives great pleasure from seeing his "hot wife" or partner being pleasured and serviced by another male (or males...or a female). Although he assumes a submissive role and will often assist during the course of the sex act, the "cuckhold husband" may actually be the controlling, dominant party in the relationship. He may invite, encourage, and initiate consideration of the practice with his partner, and may be the one to make arrangements and approve how, when and with whom his wife may have the intended encounter. In street parlance, he may "pimp" his wife for the encounters he wishes.



Often, the excitement of the encounter with third parties is followed by more, very stimulating sex play between the relationship partners. The encounter becomes an aphrodisiac, helping to initiate and enhance further sex play between them, as visions of the encounter are revisited and replayed during subsequent love making sessions."



Many couples do open their relationships and fulfill fantasies, but it's not recommended unless both partners are happy with the arrangement. Some people prefer to live out this type of fantasy by including porn and or sex toys in their bed. This provides an alternative that doesn't bring the same type of harm that introducing a third person to the bed can cause. As much as you might want to help your DH live out his fantasies, it's still your body, and you have to be comfortable with the choices that you make.



If you would like to read more from Wikipedia, here's the link:



Cuckold

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckold





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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2007
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 7:38pm
wow. thats an interesting fantasy; and one i cant quite understand. i personally would never do it even if my boyfriend wanted me to. first off, i would feel like i am cheating. and secondly, i just feel like if a man loves a woman he would NOT want to see her with someone other man! ihonestly dont know what to say except dont do anything you arent comfortable with. good luck sweetie.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 05-15-2007 - 11:00pm

I think alot of men have this fantasy...I have read about it on other boards.
If you don't have a problem with it them it's not weird.
Have you ever wanted to have sex with another man outside of your marriage? If so maybe you could tell him that you get to pick the person and of course you would need to have some "rules"....LOL
But I don't think it's odd.
Let us know what happens!! :-)

OH and welcome to the board!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2007
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 5:17am
Hi Mrs. S:
That was my DH's fantasy also. He talked about it for years until I finally agreed. I felt funny at first, but now it is okay. It has enhanced our sex life (DH is totally hot just thinking about it) and we are still in love even more than when we were first married. I don't claim to understand it, because I don't want to see him with another woman, but like K said, if it isn't hurting anyone . . .
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2006
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 9:18am
I also think its a common fantasy. I know I enjoy the fantasy and cant even really explain to myself why. I am on the "not sure I could actually do it" side of things though. I could see myself really wanting it and then be very jealous during or afterward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 9:39am
It's actually quite common. I don't understand why, but I have heard this from a lot of people. I love to watch my wife do herself and all, but the thought of someone else having sex with my wife just makes me want to lose my lunch.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 6:27am
We fantasize together while watching group sex or threesome DVD'S. DW will use a realistic dildo while she gives me a blowjob and we fantasize that we are having a MFM threesome. Very erotic and much safer than the real thing.

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