I am not attracted to "him" sexually...
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I am not attracted to "him" sexually...
| Mon, 10-30-2006 - 4:40pm |
and I'm confused; this is the first time, in a relationship (I'm 40-something), that I haven't wanted to do "it" with "him." My libido isn't dead; on the contrary, I am quite in-the-mood, just not for "him." And he wants to, has let me know that for quite awhile in a variety of ways. We're kind of dating; we do things on weekends, he comes over and watches tv, we cook great meals together. I think of him as more-than-my-brother, but not-quite-my-SO. I absolutely do not want to get physical with him, and have told him this, but he isn't accepting it, keeps hinting/trying. What should I do? Break it off completely? (though I value his friendship, and know that a good friend, of any gender, is hard to find)...stay with this RL as is, and hope that either I get "turned on" by him, or he drops the issue? (not likely, either scenario)...He's a sweet man, very giving of himself, will massage my feet till I sleep, will walk my dog, we make each other laugh...but there's no mojo goin' on...

It sounds like there isn't much there except being good friends with him.
He's not going to get the hint - he feels it, and will not be able to understand why you don't want to be more than friends. He will continue to try to get you to sleep with him until he either tucks his tail between his legs and slinks off accepting defeat, or he gets mad when he decides that he has been used and led on.
>>I think of him as more-than-my-brother, but not-quite-my-SO.<<
Well, you had better think of him as more brother than SO. If you think of him as a semi-SO then he is definitely going to feel used at some point.
Tell him and he can arrange to bring a female companion with him on your weekend encounters.
Perhaps he will even find a male friend for you.
")...stay with this RL as is, and hope that either I get "turned on" by him, or he drops the issue? (not likely, either scenario)..."
Meaning you're willing to disregard his wants and wishes, hope he forgets all about them so you can continue to get what you want, namely, a good friend and someone to rub your feet?
Hate to be the cynic here, but I'm not sure I'd want to be "friends" with someone who'd use me like that. Tell him straight up how ou feel. If he still wants to be your friend while at the same time he goes out and dates other women, then your friendship is on equal footing.