I don't FEEL anything...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I don't FEEL anything...
20
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 8:53pm

OK, so we had sex again last night. We were laying on his bed cuddling and watching a movie, and his hands went up my skirt VERY slowly...my hands then went to his crotch and he unzipped his fly for me. I gave him a little hand action, he got hard, the condom went on, and we started. This time he WAS on top; I laid on the bed and he took my legs and lifted them in the air, one on either side of him (like a V). He started out with slow thrusts and then went quicker and quicker.


The thing is, though, that all I felt was him inside me!!! I didn't feel any tingling or intense pleasure like when I take care of myself, but I didn't feel any pain or hurt whatsoever. I just felt his penis and that's it! Maybe it's because it was only the second time EVER that I've had sex...I know things will get better as I learn and get more experience, but this is really frustrating!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 9:12pm
Were either of you doing anything to stimulate your clit while his penis was inside you? Many women find that they don't orgasm from intercourse alone, without some form of clit stimulation thrown in.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 9:12pm
I remember when I first had sex that there was some pain and bleeding. I definitely felt something then. But the nex time we had sex I felt nothing. I was completely numb; couldn't even feel him inside me. It was very freaky, but I didn't have anyone to talk to about this (no girlfriends and there was no Internet back then, so no iVillage then). I didn't tell my BF and just hoped that the numbness would go away. And eventually it did so that the next time we had sex I was back to normal. Maybe that's what happened to you as well? Now why that happened to me (and to you as well), I have no clue.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 10:49pm

It often takes longer to learn how to have an orgasm during intercourse, and unfortunately, some women never do. Most women need some sort of clit stimulation to actually have an orgasm.

Also, it takes a while to get used to sex. Besides feeling his penis inside of you, you need to be in the right frame of mind, thinking sexy thoughts, and being active in what is going on between the two of you.

Here are a couple of articles that might help to explain some of it:

Everything You Want to Know about Orgasms
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexorgasm/0,,traceycox_c4qgbvt5,00.html

Four Positions for a Better Orgasm
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,pb47,00.html?nlcid=ls|12-13-2007|

"Why are my orgasms more intense during masturbation?"
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638353_634298,00.html

Why can’t I have an Orgasm?
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexorgasm/0,,drruth_qr4q,00.html

I think being aware of your own body and how it responds, combined with the desire to have great sex will get you there. The next time the two of you are together, try adding clitoral stimulation during intercourse and see if that makes a difference.

Keep us posted on how things are going. Ask lots of questions, and read the articles. The more you learn and the more tips you pick up, the more prepared you'll be.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 10:53pm

I've got three things coming to mind here:


1) you didn't get enough foreplay to really get into it prior to sex


2) the position didn't do anything for you, or really stimulate your g-spot


3) you are like most females in that you need clitoral stimulation during intercourse to derive pleasure from it.


It could also be more than one of the above as well, obviously.


You might want to try propping your bum up on a cushion or pillow next time, this will help him get a better angle for stimulation.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 05-30-2008 - 11:54pm
It could be the amount of time from hands up skirt to insertion and the knocking boots.
It takes time for everything to get cranked up inside. I know with DW if not enough foreplay is done then she does not feel anything but if there is a long build up then there is lots of sensations she feels when I am in her. That could be it but since your just starting your still learning so give it time and do lots of experimenting. Just remember just because he pops up does not mean that your equipment is ready. It typically does not take much to make him hard.
-Gerry-



-Gerry-






iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 05-31-2008 - 12:01am

From what you describe, your b/f has a LOT to learn about the female body, and about sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Sat, 05-31-2008 - 1:18am
Give yourself time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Sat, 05-31-2008 - 2:45am
When I said that I had felt numb on my second sexual encounter, I meant that I had felt numb, as in I felt like I'd had a shot of Novacaine. So when drivin said that she did't feel anything, I thought that she had been numb like I was. But I agree that it takes awhile to get to enjoy sex. Having sex with a partner is way different from having sex solo.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sat, 05-31-2008 - 7:13am
Sister, I wonder if you pinched a nerve or something that was causing the numbness during that encounter. Since it was a one time deal, I would think there was probably pressure somewhere that was causing it.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2003
Sat, 05-31-2008 - 8:05am
Many times it takes time for your body to get used to what is happening to it. I agree with the other posters. I have to add what happend to me later on in life. After I had my first child, by c-section. I found that the walls of my V were awake, now every time I have sex every nerve ending is in extreme pleasure. See this was only your second time it may take a bit for your body to get used to it. Talk to him about toucing your clit, that makes a huge differance. Some times sex takes a bit for each partner to get used to the other. While I was with my first sexual partner I never climaxed, he never knew what he was doing and I didn't know how to tell him
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