I feel weird :-S
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| Fri, 11-05-2004 - 10:33pm |
Okay the sex I had today...was....o M G O S H
Can you tell I am very happy ? :-)
Anyways...I had a couple concerns..maybe ppl with more experience could give me ideas...
We tried missionary first..and that worked out fine the first time lol.
Later in the day he got frisky again and I got on top. It was pretty amazing but he kept slipping out. I'm not sure if it was because we were kinda "rockin" lol. But anyways yeah he kept slipping out and I'm wondering...all is well, it's not a big deal or anything but okay, we don't use lube...would that help him NOT slip out??
And...later he got frisky AGAIN lol and I kind of wasn't all that into it to be completely honest. I wasn't going to say no..cuz like..sex is great lol...but I wasn't as excited as he was (I've had a rough week and not too much sleep..it's decided to take it's toll on my body at the wrong time lol) anyways...he was hard for a while but then when we started to go at it he went soft and I told him he's wearing his body out and he has to give himself more time to kinda regenerate and he agreed, we talked about it. But then the WEIRDEST thing happened. He knew I was probably getting excited as we were doing stuff so the fact that we couldn't have sex made him feel kind of bad so he was gonna go down on me..and he asked me if I was going to be sketching (thats our word for horny) later on...and I was honest in a way and told him no...but then he was like kissing my tummy and tried kissing my tummy and then eventually going down..but THEN -->>>>>>>>>>>>>>I pulled him up and told him that i wouldn't be sketching!!!!!!!!! but it wasn't because I wouldn't sketch it was because I was scared for him to go down on me!!!!!!! I donno why :-( I'm kind of skeptical about the whole thing...and then what if I don't feel comfortable reciprocating...I'd feel SO bad not to, if he went down on me. We have a thing about that, we always try to equally pleasure each other...But I'm not sure why I haven't made my way down completely...I'll give him little kisses around there and i'll manually play with him but I can't bring myself to stick my face down there and BLOW.
I feel weird.
Opinions please.
Thanks

No matter what your age or maturity level, this is all new to you, and it's perfectly natural to feel "weird" at times, but nevertheless, if you're ready for all this, you'll get past the weird feelings, and follow your instincts, and just DO it, no matter what it is. No one knows what to do right off the bat. It takes time, and experimentation, and information. These boards are a good source of information, as you've figured out. There are plenty of other web sites that you can learn from, too. A good place to start with as far as your body and his would be www.the-clitoris.com and www.the-penis.com
So, today you tried being on top, and you had problems......which is normal. You have to find the rhythms that work for both of you. If he keeps coming out, then you must be moving too much. Lube makes things MORE slippery, so if you're not dry, then you don't need lube....that will cause even more problems. Instead of jumping up and down like a jack rabbit, try kneeling instead of "squatting". Just sit on him, sitting up straight, and balance yourself with your hands on your thighs. Then just start grinding into him in a circular motion. If you or he want "thrusting", then let HIM be on top, and do his thing. Being on top is really more about the woman than the man. It's the best position for you to get some clitoral and "g" spot stimulation. He can just lie there and appreciate your body, and use his hands on you. He may or may not finish this way....and if he doesn't....then when you've had enough, change to a position that's better for him.
As for getting "frisky".....if you're tired, there's NO reason you can't say no to him. You're not there to service him, it's supposed to be a mutual thing......for the pleasure of BOTH of you. Sometimes you're just too tired to get aroused, and you certainly cannot predict if you'll get aroused at a later time. Don't worry about later, just deal with right now.
Oral sex doesn't always have to be reciprocal. He can do it for you occasionally without you doing it in return, but eventually, if you're really "into" all this, you're going to WANT to reciprocate, and you should, without feeling weird. One little hint, there's NO "blowing" involved in fellatio. There's licking, and kissing, and sucking.....but no blowing. Start slow......hold him in your hand and just kiss and lick the head of his penis....then take the head in your mouth and tease it with your tongue. When you get comfortable with that, the next step is easy....take the rest of it in your mouth. Until you get used to that, tell him to stop before he reaches his climax. That is something that can wait until you're more comfortable with the whole process.
Even though sex is a natural thing, it doesn't always just "happen". It takes time to get comfortable with each other, and learn about each other's needs and desires. The best way to learn is to communicate.....and talk openly about it. If something feels good, tell him. If something doesn't feel good, tell him that, too. He has no way of knowing what you're feeling unless you tell him. Stop worrying about feeling weird and just relax, and let things happen. Enjoy the intimacy.
~Tish
Ash, with any sexual position, you have to find what works for the both of you, you have to move around, find out what feels good to you and what you won't have problems with.