I have a situation...help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2006
I have a situation...help!!
8
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 7:53pm
I need some opinions on this situation. I am friends with a guy and have been for 15+ years. He has always liked me I think but I never felt that way about him and now he is married and has been for almost 3 years, I am single. We have never stopped being friends and still hang out all the time. Recently we kissed and talked about having sex. Here's a problem, the couple of times we attempted to have sex, he came before we even started...I thought it was a one or two time thing but as soon as we assume the position, he comes sometimes with his clothes still on. Finally today, it actually happened but it was all of 1 second. Why does this happen? Some people say its because he's wanted me for so long, and he's just excited because it's new...can this be true?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 03-07-2006 - 11:54pm

Sorry, but you've known him for 15+ years, you've known he liked you, but you weren't interested in him.....and now that he's married, you're kissing him and having sex with him?

He's probably got a guilty conscience, that's usually bad for sex. Maybe he's just a lousy lover.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 12:34am

I agree with dakine....maybe he feels guilty about cheating on his wife.

Guilt can cause all kinds of reactions and maybe, subconsciously, he's trying to avoid consumating this relationship because he knows it's wrong.




Edited 3/8/2006 12:35 am ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 12:01pm
Speaking from a male perspetive I don't think guilt would make me come fast, However it might create anxiety and prevent me from becoming erect. He is just very sensitive and he is not getting any.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 12:22pm
your post completely infuriated me! what you are doing is WRONG and karma is going to get you one way or the other.
not only you've known that he liked you for 15 years, but you've waited till he's married to hook up with him!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 12:56pm
I know it makes people angry when they hear that...but I have known him since we were 16 and I just never looked at him this way...and he always made comments to me but I ignored them, I never thought they'd continue after he was married. We have a great friendship and the day we kissed for the first time, it just felt comfortable to me...I know I am wrong and karma will come back and bite me. That's why I am so confusting about his "problem" because he has wanted this for a long time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 12:59pm
If he is truly your friend and you are truly his than you should be the bigger person and insist that this inappropriate contact stop immediately...He has made a commitment to another person. You had your chance for 15 years, that chance is over, he is married. My advice to you is to end the friendship...it will be hard to walk away but you have already crossed the line, you can't take it back, you can't repair it. He needs to come clean to his wife and try to save his marriage....you need to leave him be.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 7:00pm
Well, the OP asked a question and I offered a possible answer. I wasn't attempting to speak for you and you certainly can't speak for HIM.
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-08-2006 - 10:26pm

Love-6, I am a man and I believe that he has a condition called premature ejaculation. I am sure that it is also happening with his wife. There are men who get so excited, that they ejaculate sometimes before they enter the woman or after one thrust. You said that he once ejaculated before he got his pants off.

With that said, I say that you have NO business having sexual relations with a married man. Like the others have said, you had your chance during the 15 years that you knew him when he was single. Now that he is married he is OFF LIMITS !!