I moved too fast & ruined it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2007
I moved too fast & ruined it!
8
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 5:58pm


KINDA LONG!

So I met this guy a little over a wee ago and since then we've been talking on the phone or online daily for hours.
the other nite we had a date and it was amazing! we went to a movie, went for a drive and then stopped for some nachos and talked until 3am.
he drove me home and actually ASKED if he could kiss me goodnight.

i invited him to my friend's party for sunday nite and he wanted to go.
so last nite i had a work party at my house and after everyone had gone home mike and i talked online. he said he was going to make some chicken and i told him theres no point in cooking at 1130, i had a table full of food from the party and we could watch a movie.

so he came over and we watched some tv and talked etc and "cuddled". anyway it led to kissing and it was all pretty innocent but my love seat was getting cramped and i decided to bring him into the bedroom.

i'm 25 and haven't had sex in 3 years - so i knew it wasn't going to lead to anything serious. we basically made out for two hours. my bra even stayed on! then he said it was time to go home since he was driving out of town to see his folks for the weekend. we kissed goodnite which basically led to us making out on the floor for an hour.

we went back to my room and i decided to... pleasure him manually. after doing this for awhile he said it was sort of difficult since he's been aroused for the last 4 hours and it might take awhile so i basically hinted he should go home. he left and we didnt kiss goodnite or anything.

i get the feeling i wont hear from him again or at least he'll think differently of me. im so mad at myself for moving too fast. i took a guy who asked permission to kiss me and showed him my horny meter at full blast!

our 1st date was so great and so natural and i basically let out all my sexual aggression on him in a few hours. i havent even made out with a guy in the last year.

i dunno if i should pursue this or let it go.

i wanted things to move gradually but it may just be awkward now,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 6:14pm
Hi Lynseysharp, and welcome to the board. This guy is either into you, or he isn't. If he is into you, then none of this will matter, and if he isn't then I doubt the fact that you moved so fast is what chased him away.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 9:38pm
I agree with what Steve said. Stop beating yourself up. Sounds like you found yourself a great guy.....keep us posted!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sat, 07-28-2007 - 11:47pm
What do you mean......should you pursue it? Pursue what? It was 24 hours ago. He had plans to go out of town to see his parents over the weekend. Why don't you just relax and see if you hear from him? If it freaked him out (doubtful) you won't hear from him. You can't undo what was done. You'll probably hear from him next week. If you don't.....well, it was a few days out of your life.....and life goes on. I'll bet you DO hear from him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 1:45am
Aroused for four hours? He'll be back. You can bet on it! lol!
blonde
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 12:55pm
I suspect that he'll be back....but why, when you took him back into your bedroom, didn't you take off your bra and encourage him to pet, fondle and suckle your breasts?..this guy sounds very shy and may need serious prompting on your part...What do you mean by "made out for 2 hours?"...Did you allow him, or encourage him, to stimulate your vaginal area?...did you attempt to stimulate him?....When you began to manually manipulate him did you ask for any direction as to how to best do the deed?...When he told you that he had been aroused for 4 hours it is my opinion that the time was ripe for you to immediately begin administering orally, performing fellatio. nevertheless, I'm betting you get another shot at him.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 11:38pm

ok "handjobs" your reply was really too sexual for my comfort level haha.

i definitely will not give oral sex to someone i just met.and since i took my top off it was apparent he had free range of my breasts but for the record no, i kept his hands on top of my skirt.

anyway, i DID hear from him. i left him a voicemail tonite saying id love to take him to dinner.

he TEXTED me back and said " i just got your message. thanks but i think after the other nite this isnt really what im looking for."
and i texted back and said " and whats 'this', a slut?"
then he said " i don't think you're slutty. i just realized i dont want a long term relationship right now" << typical guy response!!!
then i said "...either do i. thats what i said in my post (online post). anyway it's fine but if you dont like me you should just be honest instead of lieing - i thought we were just having fun"

...he didnt reply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2007
Sun, 07-29-2007 - 11:46pm
Sorry to hear he is not interested in you. Yea it hurts, but look at it this way...at least you did not invest a lot of time with him and get too attached to him before he decided to tell you he was not interested. Chin up girl and go find someone else who is interested in you!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Mon, 07-30-2007 - 5:35am
Apparently he's just not that into you. I'm very sorry to hear that, but I seriously doubt that it's because you moved to fast. Now chin up, and go out there and find someone who will be into you.

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