I NEED cunnilingus! Your thoughts...
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 07-26-2005 - 12:25am |
I was browsing around the other boards and in one discussion a woman made a comment about how she needed that kind of stimulation to really enjoy sex. She indicated that had an orgasm from oral much more often than she did from straight intercourse. The comment was made because her b/f wasn't too interested in going down.
It got me thinking - always a dangerous thing.
What if a guy had made a comment like this? I'm not really trying to turn this into a men vs. women thing. But most of the advice around here for guys in that situation (that want but aren't getting oral) leans towards "talk first, but there is other stuff that you can do".
While for women (that need it but aren't getting it) the advice leans towards "talk first, but cut him off if he doesn't do it for you"
Is this a double standard? Or is it just acknowledging a difference between males and females?
Edited 7/26/2005 12:26 am ET ET by westridge2001

Pages
...this is why DH and I have adapted a free-for-all style of having sex. Intercourse isn't the only means to pleasure. We mix up, intercourse, anal play, oral and manual in each session(never knowing where we'll end). Each sexual act is "different" and distinct in it's sensations. When we have sex we stimulate not only the genitals, but all of the five senses, as well. The tastes, visuals, aromas, sounds and feel of sex is not found merely in intercourse. I have never in 27 years not indulged in DH's body just because he's capable of orgasming quickly from intercourse. In fact, we do everything in our power to prolong orgasm so that we can relish in the feelings of lust. That, to us, is the greatest feeling of sex....not orgasms per se. ;-)
Edited 7/29/2005 2:56 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Well, ideally, that's what every person wants, isn't it? But that's not considering the woman who HAS received cunnilingus from a willing partner in the past and would like it again.
I personally feel completely entitled to reciprocation from my DH. And he from me. We made the promise to one another 28 yrs. ago to do everything we could do to meet the needs of the other. And yes, sometimes, that means doing something that you might not enjoy as much as your partner does.
Not necessarily. The guy may have never enjoyed doing it for his partner and once he "got her" as in marriage, then just decided to stop.
But there's never any guarentee that you'll ever have all your needs or desires met but if a guy is willing to try, even without the desire to please, then that's all that matters, IMO. He may have to learn to enjoy it, in those cases.
Doing without is NOT an option in my marriage though...thankfully, my DH agrees.
Edited 7/29/2005 9:18 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
>>But in the case of those who stop giving, it's obvious that they don't want to please their partners any longer, period.
I disagree. When I was with my ex he rarely received blowjobs. He always complained that I didn't give them often enough (at one stage he was lucky to get two a year). But the reason was that early on in our relationship I gave him a blowjob one night, and when he came, his cum tasted particularly strong that night, and he came a lot. It was just about enough to make me throw up.
After that it took me a lot of time to bring myself to give him another blowjob (I was only 18 then, and inexperienced). And the pressure he put on me to give them just put me off even more. It's not that i didn't want to please him, it's just that I had trouble getting past that event, and the pressure he placed on me to give them. He learned that if he didn't place that pressure on me, he would get them. But unfortunately as soon as he got one the pressure would be on for the next one. And after that, when I did give him a blowjob I could never bring him to the point of orgasm, and they were generally just part of foreplay.
I am older and more experienced now. I am with a new man, and I do give him blowjobs fairly frequently (and apparently they're the best ones he's ever had :) ). But he knows I don't like the taste of cum that much, so if he is about to cum he will tell me, so I can choose to keep going, or finish him off in other ways. I choose to keep going only for the fact that I want him to feel satisfied, and I don't see the point in giving him a fantastic blowjob if the endpoint won't be as fantastic.
The act of giving a blowjob doesn't turn me on. What does turn me on is the fact that my partner is really enjoying what I'm doing to him, and the anticipation that he will want more than that.
Fortunately for me I don't need to receive cunnilingus to get off. Up until I met this new man of mine I'd never orgasmed through oral. I know that I will be satisfied no matter what happens, so I'm not worried whether I receive oral or not. I'm lucky enough to have a guy that isn't happy until I'm satisfied.
"Doing without is NOT an option in my marriage though...thankfully, my DH agrees."
I never said that one should do without and/or live with it(not receiving). All that I said is that I couldn't enjoy cunnilingus if the only reason the person is giving it to me is because I gave them an ultimatum.
Edited 8/1/2005 1:08 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
Pages