i need help like you wouldn't believe...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
i need help like you wouldn't believe...
12
Wed, 07-02-2008 - 6:46pm
my boyfriend cannot get me off. no matter what he does, it seems like nothing works. we've tried oral sex, fingering, penetration, but nothing seems to work. after the first two times this happened, i was embarrassed and for some reason decided that the best thing to do was to fake it. now i'm stuck. a little background: i've known the guy for a year, and we've been dating for a month and a half. i'm attracted to him, and during foreplay i do get wet, but it never goes any further than that. when he goes down on me its like i can't feel anything, there's no...excitement, i guess,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 07-02-2008 - 7:50pm

Welcome to the board, buttercup510.

Well, you've already learned that faking it can lead to some bad situations. It's likely that when he learns about this, he'll be a bit upset.

What are you thinking when you're with him? Are you worried that he'll know you're faking, wondering if he'll be able to satisfy you, or wishing he would do something different than he's doing? Your mind can really work against you, especially if you're worrying or thinking about other things.

What are you doing when he's doing things to you? During oral, are you laying back and letting him go down on you, or during intercourse is he always taking the lead? Maybe adding some zing to the event will get your mind where it needs to be, and get him more aroused -- a win/win situation for both of you.

There is a chance that the two of you just don't work together, sexually, but in general, when things aren't working well, you need to look at the role that both of you are taking. Like if you're laying back during oral, perhaps you should try sitting up, or straddling him for a different feel. With intercourse, try different positions, maybe even introduce toys. Have you touched yourself during intercourse, the way you like to be touched? That's something else that should heat things up.

Here are a couple of articles you might find helpful also:

Should Women Fake Orgasms?
http://love.ivillage.com/lnsunderstandmen/whathethinks/0,,answerman_8clw,00.html

"Why are my orgasms more intense during masturbation?"
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638353_634298,00.html

Good luck with getting things turned around. Keep us posted on how you're doing.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2008
Wed, 07-02-2008 - 8:53pm
Do you masturbate??
cl-sandif2008
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 12:42am

It's not your b/f's job to "get you off"!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 1:52am

first off, i found the tenor of

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2008
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 4:04am

Hi Buttercup510,


You reallly like this guy and he is wonderful and a great person and totally admirable, but could it be that there is no sexual attraction, no chemistry between the both of you?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2008
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 5:24pm
Are you taking any medications?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 5:43pm
Do you lack sensation when you masturbate?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2008
Thu, 07-03-2008 - 7:59pm
Psst!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 07-04-2008 - 7:03am
Welcome to the board, blueridgebabe, and thanks for joining in.



We have a July Roll Call that you might want to check out. It's a great way to get to know something more about many of the members here .... and to introduce a little more about yourself as well.



Stick around and join in anytime ~ the more the merrier!


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

CL ~ Let's Talk Toys

follow me to my partners in the siggy exchange:
Guard & Reserves Families ~ Secrets of Married Sex

Click here and join us:
For some WANDERFUL moments!




iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2008
Fri, 07-04-2008 - 10:59am
Oops!

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