I need help...please

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
I need help...please
3
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 11:38pm
Ok so I need some advice. My boyfriend and I are having some problems. Although we are not having sex...I chose to wait until I am married...we are having problems in that area. I used to be into it just as much as he is, but then for some reason I just kind of lost it. I very rarely want to do things like foreplay and stuff like that, but he wants to often. I used to want those things, and now I dont so much, and he is getting really fed up. There are times that I will do some fooling around, but not often, and my urge doesnt last very long. And now whenever I think about doing things, I get angry and feel uncomfortable, even when hes not doing anything or even with me. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I really dont want to lose him, which I feel that I will. Can anyone give me some advice on what I should do? I really need some..
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 05-06-2007 - 11:48pm
The reason you're having problems is that you resent him trying to push you to do something you don't want to do. You can either tell him to stop pushing, and he will....Or he'll keep after you till you give in, and you'll hate yourself for doing that. You can either stick to your wishes, and so will he, or you can end the relationship. You two aren't on the same page.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 12:09am

I second sukera. May of spelt that wrong but she's right.

kareese

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 8:55am

Welcome to the board icyblue25.



It does sound like your boundaries might be being pushed a bit. Do you feel as if he is trying to push you further than you are comfortable going?



Since you were willing to participate in sexual acts, it may be that he thinks he can push you that little bit further. I think any time two adults are putting themselves in a place where they can feel aroused, they stand a chance of going further than either of them intended. Perhaps you are even feeling that you would like to go further, but know that in your heart you do not want to. That can create an internal struggle for you.



Stress is a real libido killer. If you want to continue a relationship with your BF, then the two of you should talk outside of the bedroom. Make sure you set really clear boundaries and communicate those to him. If he is understanding and willing to wait, then you need to trust him in his decision as well. If you are both on the same page, then you can relax and enjoy those things that you are ready to share.



You may want to visit Like a Virgin where other members share a common interest. Since many people there have experienced the challenges of waiting, you may be able to get some helpful insight.



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