I Need Sex Lessons!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
I Need Sex Lessons!!!
7
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 5:40am
I will be the first to admit that I love having sex with my partner. It was rough at first but I made it. He has a large penis and he is a VERY sexual being.

I only want to please him. But so far I don't think I'm doing to well. I have only been involved with one person before him...So I really don't know what I'm doing.

He is the first person that I ever gave head to and even though he doesn't complain. I am not confident that he is enjoying it. I want to break.... him..... down, but I am not recieving the "eyes in the back of the head, toes curled, gripping the bed" response that I want. I tried to deep thoat him and I damn near choked to death. (lol) I really need some help.

I would like to know how can I over come the gag reflex and I am open to learn as many techniques as possible.

He has asked me to ride him on numerous occations but I can't do that either. He keeps slipping out and alot of times I feel like I can't move. But I always try for him. I thought about watching a few pornos so I could get some tips. But I don't know if I can actually learn anything.

He has had more lovers than I have but we communicate openly. He tries to teach me but I feel like a lost cause.

Last week He made a little comment like..."That was better this time." We laughed about it. (I thought it was kind of funny since that was first time since we've been together that I KNEW I put it on him...(smiling)...)But at the same time I was got off with because I felt like he was trying to tell me that I was "bad" in bed.

I have been studing sex every since. Any Advice or Suggestions would be nice. Feel free to email any websites, book information,or etc. to jcg282@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 9:24am

Hi Kandy and welcome to the board.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 12:12pm
Hi Kandy!

Listen, don't over-focus so much on being less experienced. He may know how to please you according to "techniques" he has learned along the way, but I still believe you have the opportunity to be even pleased through his experience as you enjoy each other more and more. Now, THIS goes for you pleasing him too. Its your experience with that will make this better, and not just your experience involving "tricks & techniques" that you've learned along the way alone. No matter 'what' is learned along the way, partners respond to those techniques differently, so you're merely learning unique way of enjoying just like he still has to learn yours too.

Speaking as a husband who is still dizzy from last night himself, LOL, I can safely tell you that woman on top is about HER taking control. When you're up there, that is YOUR show. You control the action, and we men DO typically love it when you women grow fangs and claws and take control!

Couple of miscues that I remember reading from others who've had trouble with woman on top. 1) Make sure he is ERECT...and I mean ERECT! Trying this while he is not rigid WILL cause problems. 2) Slipping out is also a matter of over-thrusting. My wife & I leave the thrusting to other positions because of this problem at times too. We use THIS position mostly for the super tight grinding...NOTHING can drive a man wild more than that most of the time, so remember the of whatever technique you're using, okay? Some thrusting is super great, but WITH the tight grinding only, for me and my wife anyway. Just an idea for ya. 3) Straddling him with your thighs is MUCH more successful with this position than trying to 'squat' your body onto him.

As always, let the miscues happen and just enjoy learning from them. DO NOT be overly nervous about it. Give him the impression that you WANT to enjoy this and that you're not doing it simply to be perfect for him. We men are VERY turned on alone by the woman's confidence and eagerness to take him, as opposed to being nervous. Just a tip. If a miscue occurs, don't talk out your nervousness (I've read that as the number one complaint from men when miscues occur), just get back on the horse sorta speak and show him that you're too busy "wanting him that badly" to be nervous about it. Please consider trusting this tip. :)

Tish is sooo right. Deepthroating is NOT essential. The best tip for you is strictly for you to learn what his sensitive spots are and how to treat those spots. Some like the swirling tongue more. Others like the vigorous sucks on the tip. Others like little bites. Its all about learning how likes it, regardless of any tips you learn along the way.

PLEASE NOTE: It is VERY common to compare one's self with how effective the current lover's previous partners were. Remember, its not about being better at all, its about learning him and each other.

Keep us posted on your progress, others reading this may be wondering too.


:)

:)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 1:15pm
I personally think that you are worrying too much and are too obsessed with learning "techniques". You should stop worrying and just try to please each other and learn the way all of us have learned-- by doing and improving with practice. I assure you that he is not comparing you to any other women he may have been with. He wants you and is willing to learn about pleasing you as much as you want to learn about pleasing him. So, in essence, RELAX, go with the flow, and just enjoy. It will get better each time you engage in this wonderful gift of nature. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 4:08pm
<<>>

I don't feel that I am obessing over "techniques". I just believe that the more I learn the more I can experiment and maybe even find some errongenous zones that HE doesn't even know he has and some zones that I didn't know I had. I love to learn and I love to sex with my man so combining these two things together is heaven for me.

I would like to keep my sex life new and exciting. I don't ever want us to get into a routine or get bored with each other.I am 22 and he is 23 but I want the sex to just as good 20 years from now. He usually lets me know what he dislikes. But I want to learn every inch of his body.

I hope I am not giving the impression that I am at all worried or afraid because I am not . I am just enjoying my lover, learning, and having fun while doing so. I may feel alittle nervous or self conscience because of my in-experience but that's about it. I don't want him to always have to do all the work. Sometimes It would just nice for him to lay back and enjoy. Neither one of us is a selfish lover. But turning him on is the biggest turn on for me.

I am also excepting 4-play ideas, positions, massage techiques and testamonies about somethings that drive you wild. I understand that everybody is different and what worked for you may not work for me but I will never know until I try some different things.

I would like to thank all the people that have replied to this board so far...Keep the suggestions coming and I will be sure to let you all know how it turns out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 7:13pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 10-17-2004 - 11:16pm
OK, Candy kisses, it seems that your BF likes sex with you on top. That is by far the position that I prefer my wife to be in. You have to mount him, facing him and then grind and rotate your hips. This postiton is my favorite and it gets me to roll my eyes back into my head while in absolute ecstasy. I don't suggest using this postion every time, but it is a good "change of pace".

You do mention that your BF is "pretty big. If it gets painful, don't hesitate to use a personal lubricant. It really makes penetration a cinch and enjoyable. Pain can be a real turn-off, so why risk it.

I hope you and your BF are enjoying sex as long as my wife and I have. (49 1/2 years and counting). Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Fri, 10-29-2004 - 11:09am


Hi, Kandy_kisses,

You should read "Sex tips for Straight Women From a Gay Man," by Dan Anderson. Very funny, and has lots of useful tips for the girls...stuff you would have never even thought about before. There's a whole chapter (or two) on giving BJs. It's like having a sex coach give you a pep talk, with diagrams and everything. Have fun!


Miss_meow