I need some expirience here
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I need some expirience here
| Wed, 05-31-2006 - 6:48am |
One simple question: how to know when I am sexually arouse? To be specific: when my boyfriend and I have sex, we start with foreplay, because he wants to satify me, get me closer to orgasm. when I think that I am ready for intercourse we bigin, but it seams like we are too early. Can somebody help me please.

If it seems too early then it probably is. I know I'm ready when I get the feeling that I just NEED him inside me and I can't wait any longer... of course he'll then sometimes tease me and make me wait longer lol. Most women need a LOT of foreplay to be ready for intercourse so if he moves to intercourse too soon, just ask him to keep up the foreplay a little longer because you're enjoying it so much. And sometimes you don't always have to have intercourse, sometimes he can make you orgasm just from foreplay or vice versa (making him orgasm just from foreplay)... there doesn't always have to be intercourse. If you don't get the feeling like you really want and are ready for him to be inside, stick to foreplay and don't have intercourse.
Also, most women don't orgasm from intercourse alone... so it's okay to get your orgasm in during foreplay most of the time.
Genealogical Musings
There is no set "routine" for sex. If you both want intercourse, and you're relaxed and well lubricated, then have interecourse. If he has enough control over himself, that doesn't have to be "the end" of sex.
You can change back and forth from "foreplay" to "intercourse" as often as you want to. There are also different kinds of "sex". Sometimes, it's a "quickie"....and it's over. Other times, it can go on for hours, changing from one position to another, changing from oral sex to intercourse and back again.
If you feel it's too "early", then wait longer. We all do what feels good at the moment, no matter what other people do. We're all different, and we all like different things.
Sounds like you ARE aroused during foreplay and then when you move to intercourse, you lose that arousal because the stimulation stops. Very common. Just ask him to continue stimulating your clitoris DURING intercourse.
And you know you're aroused when you have the urge to get to orgasm. It's a fullness or tightness in your genitals from engorgement.
I must say he is with no, or very little expirience too. It seams he is afraid that he will not come, or that his penis will fall down(and it happened few times). What to do? can someone help us? We both are slightly owerweith.
No wonder sex isn't great for you! I don't think it makes anyone feel too enthused if they know their partner is disgusted by part of their body!
Don't allow him to penetrate you UNTIL you have had at least one orgasm by manual stimulation. Then, if he isn't able to last very long, it won't leave you frustrated and angry.
Do you give him oral sex? IF so, then ask him to begin learning to get over his "disgust with your sex organ" just as you likely had to do. But I guess it's not too disgusting to stick his penis into!
Patience, communication and compassion are SO important, particularly in the beginning of an intimate relationship, since we're never so vunerable as we are lying naked with a partner. Remind him that you have feelings and that every negative or critical word has some effect on your self esteem and self image. That in turn, will affect how you view him and the relationship.
Talk with him, slow things down FOR him, ask for what you need to get aroused, and then control the timing for penetration. Tell him that even if he loses his erection, he can always get another.
Problem is that my boyfriend is disgust even with his sex organ so, sometime I need to persuade him to satisfy him orally; even he likes it very much (is it wrong?). Even then, he stops me, as if he is afraid of something. Like it is not a part of his body. It is just for intercourse for him. However, him to satisfy me that way- still a problem, but at least he tries to satisfy me with his hands. Moreover, I have one orgasm, but after we have intercourse. He always helps me to get it, but I do it in bathroom with water. I can't have it other way.
You won't believe, but he never criticizes me after sex but we talk about how to make it better next time. I have patience, because I KNOW that all men and women are not great lovers, and I know that (I hope) some day he and I will became a good lovers to each other. I like how does he look like, even he is slightly overweight. We both are, so how can I criticize him for that?