I need some HELP, PLEASE!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
I need some HELP, PLEASE!!
8
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 10:09pm
Ok before i ask the question i just want to say all of the things that i have said before has allllll
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 10:19pm

Have you talked to him about what is going on? I would start by talking with him outside of the bedroom, letting him know that you feel there must be something wrong and that you want/need more out of your relationship. If you're accusatory in your tone/questions, then it will likely make him shut down.

It may even take more than one conversation to get him to open up.

Keep talking to us here about what is going on -- we're more than happy to help.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 10:25pm
I have tried and he gets mad. He tries to say that he has never pleased me and that he just dont feel good or hes tired. I just need to stay on top of it and let him know that im serious.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 9:16am

Depending on how he's feeling and/or how you're bringing the subject up can both have a lot to do with his reaction.

You mention that at least one of your kids is with him 24/7. What else is he doing with his life? If he's not working, or doesn't have something going on to make him feel like a productive human, then he might be depressed as well. Also, taking care of a child can be very demanding. Mom's often go through a loss of libido when they have young children to tend to. They loose themselves in the demands of their life, and it starts dragging them down. It could be he's in a similar situation there. The advice we recommend to men all the time when they deal with this is to make sure their partner has time for themselves. Do things to make their partner feel relaxed, appreciated, wanted, needed, desired, etc.

It can be very difficult to change gears from parent to lover. If by saying "I just need to stay on top of it and let him know that I'm serious", you mean putting pressure on him to have sex, it's not likely to work. Now, if you mean stay on top of making him feel loved and desired, that may work.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2008
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 8:23am
Lots of men need to feel wanted from their DW/SO/GF and when they don't there's a drop in the amount of sex -- not that different from women KWIM?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Sun, 04-20-2008 - 11:48am
Im not pressuring hit at all. I tell him probably 150 times a day how much i love him but im not sure that hes believing me. He is a very difficult person to talk to. As far as the sex i just try to make a move and he denies it. I cant really explain it right now, hes right here trying to read. talk to you guys later.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 8:46am

Have you had a chance to talk to him this past week?

Let us know how things are going.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 10:07am

You can tell him 500 times a day, or 1000 times a day.......all that's going to do is drive him crazy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2007
Sun, 04-27-2008 - 11:17am
No i had to work but im going to try tonight when i get home from work.