I quit
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| Thu, 09-01-2005 - 1:13pm |
Married for 4 years, with my husband for 8 years. 2 kids. Husband is 27 years old.
I have begged for sex, tryed playing hard to get, yadayadayada....
On our last vacation we had sex once lasted about 2 minutes - no foreplay, no pleasure (for me)
he is not interested in sex but maybe once every 2 weeks - and then thats the only time he ever attempts to touch me. He never holds my hand, pats or rubs, smiles at me, looks at me... NEVER unless he wants sex... and then I dont even want it because I'm bitter that he hasnt even kissed me in 2 weeks and now that he wants something he thinks a shoulder squeeze makes it all better.
He isnt cheating... thats not a worry, he just has no sex drive and no concideration for me. I am fit, in great shape and work really hard to maintain my figure. He doesnt care, never has. Never compliments.
I have 2 young children with him and I'm staying for the kids. But at this point Im ready to end the marriage. He makes me feel ugly, he makes me feel stupid, he makes me feel unwanted - and he doesnt even try to make me feel that way, He does it without thought or care.
I've tried alot to spice up our sex life, thinking he is just bored ... doesnt matter what I do - He doesnt care, nor does he appreciate the effort.
Next time he wants sex - I'll hand him a $20 and tell him to find it elsewhere.

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Well, that explains the last few months or so, but what did he say about the last 2 years?
I hope he (and many other men) will understand that talking about problems DOES help. Maybe not with the problem itself but with the stress and difficulty of dealing with them alone. Talking about problems is NOT dwelling on them though. It can be very helpful just to share the burden with your spouse. After all, that's what they're there for.
It's just very difficult to understand a partner's behavior and NOT make assumptions, if you don't even know what's going on. Your situation is a clear example of that.
down the proverbial toilet after 20+ years and a LOT of the
probelm is the lack of sex. To keep this in perspective, my 2
DS's are 15 and 18 yo. My DW has what I call the four rules of
engagement, and these are in no particular order:
1) no sex on a work night (Sunday thru Thrusday evenings)
2) No quickies (she insists on 30 minutes minimum)
3) Never in the moring (sleep is more important to her)
4) Never when the boys are awake (do you have any clue how late
teenagers can stay up without even trying???)
So this leaves between 2am and 4am Saturday and Sunday morning.
Needless to say we DON'T have sex anymore.....Oh, we just started
to see a marriage counselor two weeks ago to see if our marriage
is salvageable....
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