I really need some help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
I really need some help
11
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 11:15am

My fiance and I have been together for three years and have had a great sex life, for the most part.


Until recently.


I had our daughter in March of this year and I am struggling really badly.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Wed, 11-07-2007 - 3:20pm
So let me get this straight. You're 22. You have a baby, 8 months old. You have a new job. He's 38 and instead of helping you out and pampering you, he yells at you because he doesn't get it his way? This is quite strange, if you ask me. Quite often, when there's an age difference like this in a couple, the older partner may tend to pamper the younger one. I'm not saying it should be like this (I believe in equality), I'm just saying it often seems to be the case. And even without that, you would think that a grown man like that (but has he really grown up?) would understand a few things. Like the fact that you have a baby and that can be not only exhausting, but also emotionally consuming (especially when the baby is your first and you keep wondering if you're doing things right). Or like the fact that you're quite young for that kind of responsibility. Or like the fact that, on top of all that, you are not only working, but working somewhere new (need for adjustment to new workplace, I suppose). Under the circumstances, I think he's lucky he gets any at all!
I think most women who have good relationships are pampered by their SO's all through pregnancy and during the first few months after the baby is born. And they need it. Some of them are so pampered, they complain about it (hey, I'm not ill, you know, I've got a baby). And I suppose a lot of it has to do with the fact that, since men can't be mothers, they feel there's something mysterious and very touching about a woman having a baby and they just want to do everything they can for the woman they love. And he should be doing this with you, if you ask me. He should be asking you if there's anything he can do to make you feel better (sexually or otherwise), not pressuring you.
My 2 cents.

ScorpioWoman, Proud Winner of the 2008 Victor Hugo Memorial Run-On Sentence Award

We kittens may be cute and lovable, b

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