I took your advice, I did it! Update!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
I took your advice, I did it! Update!
4
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 2:56pm

As you know from my previous posts. My BF is really small in penis size. I had many valuable opinions and advice! I tried the on top position! The second time I tried it, I reached an orgasm!!! As others mentioned to try the doggy style position, we did and it done absolutely nothing for me. Maybe we just need to perfect it? Anyhow, I have made progress, THANKS! BUT!!!!!!!!!!! I have tried to reach orgasms a few other times while on top, as I am getting there, guess what??? He gets off.

My question is how does a man control their orgasm? He is starting to get frustrated and maybe embarrassed. He says he can not control it. Any tips or advice that I can give him? Because I am starting to get frustrated now that I figured out how to orgasm with him and now he doesn't give me time. The only time he can last a lot longer is if he is drinking liquor. What is the deal???? I don't want him to drink everytime we have sex so I can be pleased during intercourse.

Remember my frustration.... He is my first!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 3:07pm
Tell him to mastrubate more often or at least before he has sex w/ you.
This will release some tension.
If you have sex more often, he'll get used to you... so he'll be able to hold off more also
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 4:05pm

Give him some time. Have a little patience. Most couples have to figure out how to be together and provide pleasure while receiving it from a new person. This should all take care of itself with time and more experience.

He needs to start masturbating differently. Ask him to use the stop and start method of masturbation which will help him learn to delay his orgasm. He justs stops the stimulation before orgasm and then starts it again slowly. This teaches him what happens right before orgasm and also gives him more confidence that he CAN control himself. With time, he'll learn how to do that during intercourse, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 4:31pm
If you squeeze the shaft of his penis when he is aroused before he orgasms this is supposed to really help delay the orgasm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Tue, 07-12-2005 - 5:27pm

Rome wasn't built in a day! Good sex doesn't happen overnight! BE PATIENT! He CAN learn to hold off, and he will also simply get better at it when you two are more used to each other! At this point, he's probably so happy seeing YOU excited, that it gets to him, too.

As for him finishing too fast to let you get yours......FOREPLAY!! Lots of it. Most women, when they get in tune with their bodies, can have orgasms long before intercourse, and when you get to that point, you're already revved up, and it will happen faster.

Sex is an ongoing learning experience! I'm a great grandmother, and I'm STILL learning new things! It takes a long time to figure out what works, and what doesn't. Just think of the fun you have experimenting! Don't look at it as a "mission".....look at it as pleasure, even when it doesn't turn out the way you want it to.

The reason he can last longer when he's drinking is because alcohol is a depressant, and EVERYTHING works slower. And you're right, you don't want him depending on alcohol to please you, or make himself feel better about himself.

Just be patient.....it'll all work out.