I want orgasms!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
I want orgasms!!!
4
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 8:00pm
Ok, so here's the thing. My boyfriend of almost 3 years has always been amazing in bed. We used to be able to do it over and over, for long periods of time, and usually more than once a day. For the last 8 months or so, he has been working full time, as well as going to school full time so we don't have time to be wild and crazy like we used to. So sex is even more important and special to me because we don't get to have it as often. Lately, it seems like I can't even kiss him without him becoming aroused. When it comes to sex, it isn't lasting more than 5 minutes and more times than not, he climaxes before I do. I recently tried giving him oral sex with the hopes we would be able to have sex later that night, and it would last longer. Well, I didn't get sex that night. I guess he was already satisfied. I guess what I am asking is for advice on foreplay, how to keep him from going so quick, or positions that would make me go a little quicker. It takes me awhile to get to climax. It is getting frustrating. Any advice or comments anyone has would be GREAT!!! Thanks so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 8:51pm
You might want to tell him all this. He can't read your mind. If you want more foreplay, you need to tell him that. You don't have to allow him to start intercourse if you aren't ready, and you can ask him for what you want. Even if he does finish too fast, then there's no reason he can't still use his hands, assuming he wants you to be satisfied too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 9:14pm

Welcome to the board megswill33.

It may be that your BF is over-stressed, but he can learn to control his ejaculation. He can practice the start-stop method by stopping momentarily when he feels his orgasm building, and then starting again.

More likely than not, you will find that you are better satisfied if he satisfies you first, during foreplay. If he does happen to finish before you, then he should realize it's important for him to help you climax after intercourse. Bringing a vibrator into play will also help you, and possible make it quicker for you to orgasm. It can even be used to stimulate your clitoris during IC.

A site that you should visit is the-clitoris.com. If you can get him to visit with you, it will help him understand what you need as well.

Good luck, and let us know if you find the site helpful.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 11:47pm

Most women do NOT have orgasms from intercourse, no matter HOW long a man lasts. We get them from manual or oral clitoral stimulation during foreplay, or clitoral stimulation during intercourse. If he's not taking enough time for foreplay, then TELL him you're not ready. He can take the time for foreplay without losing it himself......and if he doesn't want to, then he's just plain selfish.

Try Woman On Top......which gives you clitoral stimulation during intercourse, if you do it right.....by rubbing against him while you rotate your hips slowly and sensuously.

You get what you ask for, and if you don't ask, you don't get!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Tue, 05-22-2007 - 6:51am

Well with his schedule It would be very hard to make time
for sex not saying he shouldn't. Here's an idea.
If he ever gets time off then yall should go out have
a great time filled with intimacy and then have great
sex. Every body needs a break from life. The bedroom
Isn't always good enough. I'm know yall don't get
much time together so your looking for closeness and
intimacy. I think going out will be great for yall!
You both can get a break from everday life and
spend time together. Alot of the times that is more needed
then sex.

Kareese