I'm afraid to have sex w/ my boyfriend
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I'm afraid to have sex w/ my boyfriend
| Mon, 04-18-2005 - 7:28pm |
What should I do. I've been having sex since I was 16 years old and I get with one guy and now I'm clamming up. He's a virgin and I'm kind of feeling the pressure to perform. Besides I'm going to be the first person that he's had sex with. I don't want him to think about his first time as being a disaster like mine was. I know that I shouldn't put so much thought into it but I really can't help it. Is this a normal feeling or am I just nervous about nothing...someone please help me!!!!
Sweetness0423

Darling, *most* people's first times are not spectacular. Of those people, quite a few are disasters and the rest are just not particularly memorable. Yes, there would be exceptions, but they are few and far between.
Sex isn't a "performance".....it's supposed to be an expression of feelings, and of intimacy with someone you care about.
Since you've had so much experience, then you should be able to guide him along, and make sure his first time is great, as yours would have been if someone had guided you properly.
When in doubt, don't.
I second GTB's advice....when in doubt, don't.
Listen to your intuition and your gut and wait until it feels right, if ever. If he was the guy for you, you wouldn't be having this mental debate. Don't have sex because it's expected or assumed.
Edited 4/19/2005 2:46 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
Ok I'm not afraid in the sense that I'm debating whether to have sex or not. He's the one who hasn't had sex yet and decided that he wanted to have HIS first time with ME. I was feeling pressure because I didn't want HIS first time to as horrible as mine was. I do feel that he's the one for me reason being is because I haven't thought about breaking up with him. Breaking up with him hasn't even crossed my mind and I'm happy with that. I'm not doubting anything about my relationship with him.
Sweetness0423
I sort of feel like most people here are missing the point. Sweetness is NOT trying to decide whether this is "the one" or "the first" or whatever...I think she's just nervous about being "disappointing" or something.
Honestly, after having had mostly male best friends since elementary school, I've heard it all from guys...and there really is not much you can do to make it a bad experience for HIM! As long as he's ready and you're laid back about it, I think it should be fine.
Good luck and try to have fun!
I understood exactly what she was talking about but it's not just HIS first time, you know...it's HER 1st time with HIM!
And if she feels pressured or discomfort, it certainly won't be enjoyable for either of them. Better to wait until she feels more comfortable with him and the idea.