I'm curious!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
I'm curious!
5
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 9:58pm
ok men - fess up! I have had this happen a couple of times in the past and was recently talking to a girlfriend that just experienced a similiar situation......now I'm beginning to wonder how common this is:

A man that has been married for several years and is new to the dating scene - his first encounters with sex with a new partner either ends up with him not being able to get up for the event, OR not able to get to the grand finale. I chalked my experiences up to just nerves and feeling like he was 'cheating' being the first one out of the gate, so to speak. In my experiences it doesn't take long before he's 'back in the saddle' and doing fine.........my friend has encountered a poor man that hasn't been able to 'finish' for almost 2 months of sex with her. It's affecting her self-esteem now!

What's the story?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 11-02-2004 - 11:09pm
I beleive that you are right in your assumptions to a greater or lesser degree. In your g/f's case it's difficult to say what the problem is. After two months he should be comfortable with her and things should be going along fine. But it isn't; so something is wrong. It could be anything from unresolved feelings for his ex and the marriage break up through to low self-esteem, to health problems, to general nothing-relating-to-the-ex-wife erection problems, to work stress, medication, drugs, alcohol, etc. etc. etc. We just don't have enough information about their relationship and what has happened in it to make any assumptions.

She just needs to talk to him and find out from him what the problem might or might not be. She shouldn't pressure him if she can avoid it. Maybe get him to a Doctor for a check up if necessary, etc. etc. etc....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 7:56am
I agree with Westridge, it can be one of many things, mental to physical.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 3:20pm
Agreed with the others.

Always safe to be "up to date" on the check ups and making certain he is checked with special attention as well, especially as he gets older obviously.

My opinionated guess based upon what you've written would be more on the psychological side than anything else. YES we men here and there from time to time may actually get the ol' jitters, that is NOT that rare...keep that in mind.

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 5:09pm
We've all encountered the 'first-time' jitters.........but 2 months? That was the part the I thought was bizarre! In this particular case he did not have sex for 8 months before they hooked up............would that play into the factors?

Us gals got to giggling when we were comparing producing sperm to breast milk - don't suppose there's much correlation there, but think about it! LOL it's all supply and demand ya know!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 11-04-2004 - 8:15pm
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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd