I'm kinda confused ....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
I'm kinda confused ....
3
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 2:31am
I'm really kinda confused. I have a little problem when it comes to orgasiming. I can only get off in one position. No matter how much i try, nor my partner, i cant orgasim in any other position. He's tried gettin me off through intercourse, masturebating me, and even with toys. If im not in that perticular position i cant get off. Can any of you suggest some way of getting around this. It's kinda dulling my sex life out, since i keep having to go back to that one position to get off everytime.
Kitten
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 2:55am

just curious, what position is it?

did you first learn that you enjoy this position through masturbation? you may have conditioned yourself to coming in one particular way. if that is the case, stop using that position and rely only on other positions and see if over time you react more to them.

is it really that big of a problem? can't you just do other positions and finish off in that position?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2006
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 5:51am
try spicing things up with dirty talk, role playing, think dirty you may just have a mental bump you need to get up and over. Let your imagination help you. Don't be afraid to help your boyfriend out, sometimes a hands on approach can help. ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Tue, 06-20-2006 - 10:07am

If you're having sex just so you can "get off".....you're having sex for the wrong reason! If you'd learn to have sex for the pleasure of sharing and intimacy, and stop worrying about orgasms, they might happen. When you make sex into a quest for an orgasm, it's never going to happen. When you learn to enjoy sex, and the pleasure of being with someone you care about, and stop worrying about orgasms.....that's when they'll happen. Sex is dull if you don't have an orgasm? Then you're doing something wrong, because sex isn't or shouldn't be dull, with or without orgasms. Orgasms don't make sex good, good sex makes orgasms happen.

If you've trained yourself to respond to whatever position it is, then you have to UNtrain yourself.

Are you aware that for most women orgasms come from clitoral stimulation, not from intercourse? 80% of women need clitoral stimulation DURING intercourse to have orgasms. You can do it yourself, he can do it, or your position can do it. Woman on top is good for clitoral stimulation if you do it right. You can also get some "g" spot stimulation that way, again, IF you do it right.

But the main thing is to learn to enjoy what IS happening, and stop worrying about what's not happening. When you learn to allow yourself to enjoy the pleasure that's happening, and stop thinking about whether or not you'll have an orgasm, they'll happen.