I'm never in the mood anymore,help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2007
I'm never in the mood anymore,help!
4
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 1:31pm
Hello Everyone, I'm new to the message boards, So HELLO!! Well Seems like ever since I had my son , who is 18 months old, I'm just never in the mood anymore to have sex.I just want to go to bed and sleep.I always seem tired.When we do end up having sex,were both just there ,i'm usually waiting for him to finish so I can go back to bed.Sad, yes =[ I don't know what to do anymore, It's killing our relationship, help!?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 2:21pm

It's not unusual for a woman to feel this way after having a baby, for a year or more. It's "mother nature's" way of keeping you from getting pregnant too soon after a baby....actually, it's your hormones that haven't yet gotten back to normal after the pregnancy. You might want to see your gyno to get checked out, just to be sure.

There are lots of things besides a toddler that can leave you tired and just wanting to get it over with. You could be anemic, or something else could be going on. Try to make some time for you and your husband when you won't be so tired...

Remember one thing.....having a baby doesn't mean you should neglect your marriage. He was your husband before he was a father, and he'll be your husband when your children are grown and gone.......and if you don't keep the "fires burning".....you'll be strangers living like brother and sister.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 2:56pm
WOW,
Thank You for your reply.It made so much sense. I actually have a Dr.appt tomorrow so I will make sure to address it. Yes I do believe we need Alone time just him and I.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 5:14pm

Welcome to the board daisyj06.

I'm glad to hear that you will be bringing this up with your doctor tomorrow. If everything with you is medically okay, then you might want to look at what is going on in your life that you can change. That change might require the help of your DH. Not only is having the baby a physical challenge for you, trying to keep everyone happy and everything done once the baby is here can be very draining, sometimes too much.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 8:50am

You know that feeling sexual isn't all about hormones and being tired. Its a state of mind too. It's a good thing to talk to your doctor but is there any way you and your husband can get just one night a week together to just be with each other right now? Say lighting candles all around your bathroom and soaking in a hot bathtub together, or having a romantic dinner (that you don't have to cook) or giving each other a long generous massage. If you can get your mind in the right place too it will come back. You have to expect your life to be different now with a baby but if you can even bring the romance back once it a week it would do you and your DH a world of good!

Be sure not to forget to spend a little time together every day even if it is only cuddling after baby is asleep. Every gentle touch and every kind word goes a long way toward keeping your relationship loving. And that doesn't take much time or effort.

Good luck and let us know how you are doing!