i'm REALLY confused!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2005
i'm REALLY confused!
3
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 8:39pm

hey guys, I really need some advice!
When I get intimate with my boyfriend he massages my clit, but I can't feel a thing! It's numb! What's going on, i'm really confused! Could somebody please explain it to me? What can I do to fix it?

from, Panda

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sun, 04-17-2005 - 8:58pm
Not being a woman I can't really help you with what your clit should or shouldn't be feeling like. But I can suggest that you not get too worried about it at this stage. Quite possibly what your b/f is doing just isn't the right stimulation and you might need to get more aroused in a different way for it to start feeling good. Sometimes rushing straight for the clitoris isn't the best approach. Some women actually find it down right uncomfortable and unpleasant if a man rushes in and starts rubbing their clit before they have been warmed up.
Perhaps your b/f could make sure that you are more turned on before he tries to stimulate your clitoris? Try more kissing and touching first. More time spent kissing and stimulating your sensitive spots - not just the obvious places like your clitoris and breasts and nipples, but that soft spot behind your ear, or the hollow of your neck too. He could try stroking your inner thighs first, or stroking your labia and around your clitoris first and move onto your clitoris when you're more ready.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 12:24am

Are you sure he's in the right place? Is his finger well lubricated? Is he "grinding" away at it rather than just gently stimulating it? Is it numb when YOU stimulate it?
Has he worked his way to it, or just jumped in without a buildup?

Your question is very vague, so it's hard to say......your clitoris is the most sensitive sexual area of your body. Maybe it's that something wrong is being DONE, rather than something being wrong with you.

To make sure you both know what it is, where it is, and what to do with it...check out www.the-clitoris.com

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 4:03pm
Do you touch yourself? Do you masturbate to orgasm? If so, then show him where and how you need to be touched. It sounds like he's in the wrong place to me. OR you are turning off for some reason.