I'm scared to let him give me oral

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2006
I'm scared to let him give me oral
5
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:42pm

My boyfriend is extrememly sweet and always tries to please me. He really wants to give me oral, but I'm too scared to let him. I'm terrified that he will be grossed out. Like, what if I stink down there? or what if he thinks it tastes nasty? sigh I'm just not confident enought to relax and let him down there, I'm afraid that he will NEVER want to do that again.

Also, everytime he fingers me and hits me g-spot, it feels like I have to pee and I clench up. All my focus goes to making sure I dont pee on him.

I've never had an orgasm and its terrible depressing. I'm starting to feel like I'll always just have to tolerate sex.

Please help ladies. Any advice is welcome. Thank you so much!

-gal_smiles

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 8:53pm

To enjoy sex, you have to stop being self-conscious.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 10:43pm

Starting with your last remark.......You just have to tolerate sex? Are you sure you're ready to be sexually active? If you think pleasure is dependent on orgasms, you're very mistaken. If you learn to enjoy sex, and all the pleasure involved, you might have an orgasm. Any kind of sexual activity is PLEASURE......and orgasms are the icing on the cake. If you're not enjoying what's happening, you'll never have an orgasm, either.

That feeling you have is the result of arousal and if he's stimulating your "g" spot, it might be that you're about to ejaculate, which is NOT an orgasm, but might be accompanied by one. If your bladder is empty, you can't urinate. Ejaculation is a gush of liquid, but it's NOT urine. Most female ejaculation is a result of "g" spot stimulation.

If you bathe or shower regularly, you will NOT stink, you will smell and taste like a female. Also, you have more of a chance of having an orgasm from oral clitoral stimulation. If he's asking to do it, then he's not grossed out by it. Relax, and allow him to do it, and learn to enjoy it. And hopefully, you'll return the favor for him, which HE will enjoy.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-30-2006 - 11:43pm

You may not be completely comfortable the first time he gives you oral, most women aren't. But every time AFTER that first time, you'll begin to feel more and more confident that he enjoys it and then, so will you. But you have to start sometime.

The idea that you will taste or smell nasty is negative conditioning that many women get from the time they're small and it's not true. We certainly aren't born believing that! As long as you practice good hygiene, you'll taste and smell like you're supposed to, like a woman.

Let him give you this stimulation until you begin to relax and enjoy it. He needs to be a good lover and he can't be until you let him.

And spend time getting to know your body and what arouses you. Fantasize and self stimulate so that you know what you need and can ask for it. After all, that's what men do, isn't it? I would suggest direct clitoral stimulation to go along with the g-spot and you can either do that yourself or ask him to.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2006
Fri, 03-31-2006 - 2:37am

Oh, please please please let him give you oral. Its the most intimate, beautiful part of making love. You don't have to worry about odour, taste etc. as long as your personal hygiene is good you shouldn't have a problem, most men love the taste of a natural, clean woman anyway.

As people have already said, your first time may be a little unpredictable but it will get better with time. You will need to work out whether you like to be licked gently or a little rougher, more clitoral stimulation or if you prefer his tongue inside you, I enjoy a mixture of it all, but it has to be gentle licks, not everyone is the same though. If you work at it together and tell him what you enjoy, I can almost guarantee that you will become truly orgasmic. He also needs to be prepared to spend a long time down there if need be.

I am sure you will be returning the favour afterwards, so it gives him something to look forward to. Trawl the boards on here, there are tons of tips, advice and steamy stories to get you going.

Good Luck x

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sun, 04-02-2006 - 11:02am

Hi gal_smiles:
(from a guy's point of view)

1-You two should take a shower together; in that way, you two will KNOW each is clean.
2-You did NOT write how much experience your guy has with a woman's body. Each woman has a scent (which can change thru the month).
3-I am a guy who WANTS to give a woman oral sex. Ever since I hit puberty, I have been in awe about a woman's body. The woman NEEDS to be STD free.
4-Talk to your guy about your needs and concerns on sex!
5-A good lover will want to please his/her partner.
6-I enjoy giving my partner a SENSUAL MASSAGE. By giving a SENSUAL MASSAGE, you will (can) ease into knowing each other's body.
7-A person should masturbate to learn what's pleasurable. By masturbating, you can start to learn your own body and sexual responses (leads to orgasm).

Please keep us informed.

Mac