Initiate sex
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Initiate sex
| Thu, 12-29-2005 - 9:50pm |
I'm curious. It was suggested that a woman initiating or being interested in sex is something from out of this world. I'd like to hear from the men and women about how their past and present relationships went. Who initiated sex more often, you or them; or was it fairly even?

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Actually, I think that they all enjoyed it, to one degree or another. I also don't think that I've ever said that I thought that women don't enjoy sex, just that, as a group, it doesn't seem as important to them as it is to men. Now, I don't want to get in the middle of the debate that you and humpdaddy have going about levels of sexuality, but, by importance, I'm talking specifically about the amount of mental and physical energy a person is willing to invest in order to get sex, whether they're in a relationship or not. I think that one thing that these discussions have shown is that it always possible to contradict any general statement about people by specific counter-examples, so let's not go there, OK? :-)
On a related note, I remember once hearing Bill Maher say "It isn't fair that sex is so much easier for women to get than it is for men, especially since it's so much less important to them than it is to men." At the time I agreed with him, but over time I've come to realize that it's only true if you use the general male definition of "sex". Since, for most women it seems, "sex" is only worthwhile if it comes with an emotional connection, and that is actually much more difficult to find than "sex" as the simple physical act, which is what most men are thinking of when it comes sex. Not that men aren't interested in an emotional connection as well, but we seem to be much less likely to require it as a necessary precondition for sex than women tend to be. At least that's how it seems to me.
....that's what I've been trying to say Rice. Just because a woman might not want to have sex outside of a relationship or without an emotional attachment, it's automatically assumed that she's disinterested or less interested in sex than men are, and has a low libido. More than likely, she's got a perfectly healthy libido, is happily fantasizing about a specific man or celebrity and pleasuring herself accordingly. One has nothing to do with the other.
Edited 12/30/2005 7:44 pm ET by rain_dancer_iam
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