Initiating without being over-the-top

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2005
Initiating without being over-the-top
4
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 1:42am

I have never been a real sexual person. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 21. I am very insecure when it comes to my body, and having thoughts of not knowing what I'm doing, and afraid to be laughed at...

I just had a baby at the end of January, and I want to really start over with my husband..start a wonderful, healthy, sex life.

My question is...how can I initiate making love to him without it being awkward, because I hardly ever initiate, and how can I be more comfortable trying new things? What things are good, what are the sure fire ways to make him want me more? And not laugh at me haha!

I don't want to talk about it, I just want to initiate it, and see if I can bring my sexual being out.

Any help would be great!

Thanks,
Amy

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 2:44am

Well, kissing is usually a pretty good initiator. Once you start kissing run your hands down his back and chest, just don't stop till he's got his hands on you. :) Most guys would get the idea and if not, you can say something like, "Lets go to bed."

I'm sure he'll be happy that you decided to grab hold of your sex life! Congratulations to you.

~Suki


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Providing all your bedside needs, little and not so little.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 9:39am

If you are initiating and he is laughing, I'm sure it's a naughty, happy laugh! If you really want to push your own limits, try to think about sex all the time. Think about things you would like to try, dress sexy, surprise him (and yourself) with the way you talk to him throughout the day. Do things that keep you and sex on his mind.

Sleep naked, sit next to him watching TV with just a robe on (or a sexy nightie), go braless at home, be close to him (often), etc. Most guys welcome any kind of morning sex, love to watch women touch themselves, and like to be taken by surprise. Getting in the shower while he's in there is good too. Once you start stepping out of your comfort zone, it will get easier (and more fun).



iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 10:02am
Giving him a blow job with out him asking for it will jump start the evening. Dont be shy about it(or at least dont act that way). Most people want thier lover to be confident AND enthusiastic. Always remember this, the biggest turn on for most men is KNOWING their woman desires them sexually. When most men are not getting frequent sex, they tend to feel somewhat rejected. The more rejected they feel the less often they intiate because they fear rejection.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2006
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 10:11am

This is all so true! Here's a great article for the OP (and others)....

http://diet.ivillage.com/motivate/mimage/0,,Jessica%20Weiner_b77pvv7g,00.html

oops, edited to change link to just article and not another post about the article.




Edited 3/14/2007 10:16 am ET by hunt4o